Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

So I’m a meme now.

I was joking around about boycotts on Facebook today, and one of my friends made this.  I don’t think I’ve ever actually participated in a boycott.  They often seem to me to be an attempt at a de facto suppression of speech.  I don’t know if I’m a so-called free speech absolutist, because that just feels like a loaded term, but I’ve gotten into trouble with both liberals and conservatives with my views in that area, which others tend to view as extreme.

But I guess that’s besides the point.  People think this picture is funny.  A college friend of mine out in Texas shared this in a few places after politely asking if he could make it “go viral.”  (He asked the meme-maker’s permission, but not mine.)  This is the same guy I told you about who’s a master pyro-technician and will likely puncture the ozone layer at some point in his lifetime.

Anyway, now there are a bunch of people out in the Lone Star State laughing at me, and I’m not sure why.  (They weren’t privy to the Facebook conversation that spawned this.)  It’s probably just my goofy-ass face.

I’m not even sure I remember taking this picture.  I might have been in some kind of very chipper fugue state.

 

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Another reason to love Roanoke — people laugh at my dinosaur jokes.

Or maybe they’re just being polite.

Which is probably more plausible.

Remember that guy I told you about who eats nine eggs at one sitting?  I started calling him The Oviraptor, and that totally caught on.  I’m a trend setter here.

 

 

A very short review of “Greta” (2018)

“Greta” (2018) has some of the ingredients of a fantastic thriller: an interesting story concept and the talents of both the wonderful Chloe Grace Moretz and the extraordinary Elizabeth Huppert.  It’s beautifully shot, too.   (Weird trivia — what you’re seeing in much of the film outside of the obvious establishing shots is Dublin, and not New York.  It turns out the Irish city can make a pretty plausible stand-in for the upscale neighborhoods of Brooklyn or Manhattan.)

Regrettably, those ingredients nevertheless combine into an average film; I’d rate this a 5 out of 10.  Until its final half hour or so (when there are a few nice moments, thanks to Huppert), it’s far too slow in its execution.  The tone of the movie feels somehow off, too.  The city is bright and beautiful.  Moretz’ character and her roommate (well played by Maika Monroe) feel too strong and capable to become truly imperiled.  Worst of all, the titular Greta comes across during most of the movie as a vague and ineffectual threat.  (There is a sequence in which she harasses Moretz by simply standing outside her workplace and staring.  It’s unintentionally funny — you’ll know what I mean if you see the movie.)

Don’t get me wrong — this isn’t a truly bad film, only a mediocre one.  If the trailer suggests you might like it, it’s worth the price of a Redbox rental to find out.

 

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“An Ode for Fellow Replicants,” by Eric Robert Nolan

(Dedicated to Philip K. Dick)

What if the Internet is an android’s dream,
and we are the electric sheep?

Dick would know at once
our artificial people:
every boy a Roy,
every girl a pleasure model,
trying to pass as real,
inwardly concerned with their design:
“Morphology. Longevity. Incept dates.”

On Facebook,
“More Nolan than Nolan”
is my motto.

If I, in my genuine moments,
could greet my jpeg face
hiding in his electronic words,

he’d go offworld or die.
After all,
“It’s not an easy thing to meet your maker.”

(c) Eric Robert Nolan 2016

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Photo credit: By olga.palma – facebook enganchaUploaded by JohnnyMrNinja, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=16525385

“Redbud Leaves,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Falling early, in July,
are perforated tapered spades,
or the honeycombed arrows of hearts —
beetle-bitten redbud leaves.

(c) Eric Robert Nolan 2017

 

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“Lie To Me, But Brightly,” by Eric Robert Nolan

The moon ignites her eyes
into glittering locks:
heavy, hard and bright.

In this early winter air,
Her whispers are verdicts. Starshine
falls across us like judgement.

We are fastened down
with new wool blankets, with sheets,
with one another.

The looming headboard, her mother’s gift,
is firm in its oak location, yet yawns —
the padlock’s empty eye.

Reclining, her white stomach is
a burning opal, and, under my palm,
a fluttering altar.

Her winding legs
are the snowy tails of comets —
our bedsheets’ burning stars.

She draws up against me.
She draws against my heart
like an unwanted memory.

Lie to me, she says. Lie to me, but softly.
I want to see your lips move
as slowly as the moon will cross the sky.

Lie to me, she says. Lie to me, but brightly.
Your words are as formless as starshine,
as insubstantial as light.

Lie to me, she says. Lie to me, nightly,
when your eyes are as dark in your forgeries
as midnight’s measureless heavens.

Lie to me, she says. Lie to me in lilting verse.
Paint for me the universe,
and I will forget you are here.

Then she crosses her wrists
in pearling benediction, under her glowing shoulders,
softly, silvering in shadow there,

in intersecting, sloping ivory,
the smooth and luminous, leaning crucifix
of consequence, of her trembling arms.

(c) Eric Robert Nolan 2019

 

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Photo credit: By Lawrie Cate – Moon, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3684899

A buddy of mine ate nine eggs in one sitting.

What you see below was a single meal for this guy.  That’s six chicken eggs and three duck eggs.  The plate is a regular-sized dinner plate.

He told me he’d probably be hungry again in about two hours’ time.  He has a normal body weight.

I think he might be on of The X-Men.

 

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A review of “Spider-Man: Far From Home” (2019)

“Spider-Man: Far From Home” (2019) is a fun enough Marvel movie; based on my own enjoyment, I’d rate it an 8 out of 10.  It’s got the same qualities as almost all the other films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe — fun, humor and great special effects housed within a remarkably well constructed shared universe.   This mostly standalone adventure is definitely one of the MCU’s campier outings, but I think that most viewers will find it a welcome break after the last two high-stakes, apocalyptic “Avengers” films.  (You may have heard of them.)

It’s also a great film to appeal to comic fans who are younger adults.  The humor usually works, and the characters are nicely relatable.  Peter’s peers and teachers are all engaging enough on their own, and make a good group of supporting characters.  I know most fans have commented how much they like Ned, and I do too — but I think the MCU’s biggest improvement in this part of the mythos is the character of M.J.  She is vastly different from her comic book progenitor, but in good ways.  She’s dry, sardonic and slightly dark, and she’s extremely well played by Zendaya.  I don’t imagine that many fans will agree with me here, but I personally find this character to be a lot more likable and compelling than the MCU’s Peter Parker.

And that brings me to my largest concern about the new “Spider-Man” films.  Their version of Peter is sometimes frustrating.  I don’t think it’s the fault of Tom Holland, who brings a nice amount of energy and personality to the role.  I think it’s the fault of the screenwriters, who have made the character so doltish, boyish and eager-to-please that it’s occasionally annoying.  He sometimes seems more like a middle school student than an advanced high school student.  (Isn’t he supposed to be a senior here?)  The writers seem to want to counter-balance the character’s high intelligence with a humanizing flaw, and they seem to want to contrast young Peter with the older, more seasoned Avengers lineup.  All of that makes perfect sense, but I do think they go a little overboard.

I’m willing to go on record here and say that I prefer Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man.”  His trilogy between 2002 and 2007 had more heart, more devotion to heroic archetypes, and greater attention character depth and detail.  (I still think that 2004’s outstanding “Spider-Man 2” is one of the best comic book movies ever made.)  There are advantages, too, to depicting an iconic superhero that doesn’t inhabit a shared universe — you spend more time exploring the character than exploring their context in relation to others.

Still, I’d recommend “Spider-man: Far From Home.”  Like I said, it was a fun movie.

 

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Throwback Thursday: 1990’s Nerd Nolan!

This is from sometime in the late 1990’s.  I can’t remember which one of you guys sent me this photo, or its date.  But I’m running it primarily because of that old red t-shirt, which I loved so much that it nearly fell apart before I threw it out.

It was the “official” t-shirt of the Mary Washington College Department of Psychology, and I thought it was for one of the academic years I attended.  But … it looks like it says 1989-1990, and I feel like I even remember that.  (It’s a little hard to make out.)  I went to MWC just afterward, between 1990 and 1994.  I”m not sure what the story is here; maybe an upperclassman gave it to me?

The t-shirts were sold by psychology majors to raise funds for … something.  Was it a picnic at the end of the year, or a trip or something?  God, I’m getting old.

My only disappointment with that shirt was that I wore it for years without hearing a single relevant “Star Trek” joke.

 

 

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The Piker Press will feature four more of my poems!

I’m honored to share here that four more poems of mine will be published in the coming months by The Piker Press.  The weekly journal for arts and sciences will feature “Smiling Among Inert Shipwrecks” on July 22, “hens staring upward” on August 26th, “All Our Faults Are Fallen Leaves” on September 23, and “Delaware Sheets” on October 14.

I will post links here when the poems appear.

Thank you, Editor Sand Pilarski, for allowing me to be a part of The Piker Press’ wonderful community of artists, writers and readers!