Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

A very short review of “Spectre” (2015)

[THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE FILM.]  “Spectre” (2015) was an impressive James Bond film, if not an unforgettable one.  I’d rate it an 8 out of 10.  It’s got style, terrific action sequences and absolutely gorgeous shooting locations.  Daniel Craig is still a decent Bond, too, even if I always find him a little understated in the role. And Dave Bautista makes a sufficiently intimidating henchman.  (The man looks gigantic, too.)

It brings little new to the franchise, however, and it doesn’t rise above being a standard action film in the same manner as its predecessor, 2012’s nuanced and surprisingly emotional “Skyfall.” (I’ve gained a greater appreciation for that movie after having watched it a second time.)

It occurs to me, too, that “Spectre” seems a little easy to nitpick — at least to someone who’s enjoyed a lot of spy films and novels that are intended as procedural thrillers.  We watch Bond gain easy access to a super-secret meeting of the titular cabal, for instance — he just kinda bluffs his way in.  Then the organization’s Big Bad calls him out, after apparently feeling his presence, as Darth Vader felt the presence of Luke on a passing ship in “Return of the Jedi” (1983).  Later, we watch Bond employ incredibly risky and haphazard tactics to rescue a kidnap victim — it seems to me that the consequent random vehicle crashes, explosions and gunshots could just as easily kill her as they might free her.

Still, this was a fun movie.  I’d recommend it if you’re looking for an enjoyable action flick.

 

1$_V?_Job Name

“Throwback Thursday: “Bigfoot and Wildboy” (1977 – 1979)

“Bigfoot and Wildboy” (1977 – 1979) is another obscure TV show that is perhaps best forgotten.  It was a segment on something called “The Krofft Supershow” in 1977, I think, before the segments were re-edited into a half-hour program.  I became a fan of it as second grader in the fall of 1979.  (Or maybe I watched its reruns in third grade, in 1980 — to be honest, this was so long ago that I hardly remember.)

They don’t make TV shows like they used to.  And that’s a good thing.  “Bigfoot and Wildboy” seemed to rely heavily on three ingredients: an utra-cheesy 70’s score; truly terrible special effects (even for the time); and lots of shots of its two title characters either jumping, or running at the camera in slow motion.  (I actually just watched a few minutes of the full episode you see posted below.)

I was pretty preoccupied with “Bigfoot and Wildboy” when I was very young.  I remember having to make journal entries in the classroom, in which we could write and illustrate anything we wanted.  (It was precisely the sort of open-ended journal writing exercise with little academic value to which I’d be subjected, occasionally, throughout my school career — even in my college poetry class.)  But we were allowed to select our own topic in the second grade, and that was at least some fun for an imaginative kid.  The nuns (it was a Catholic school) sometimes prodded us to write about real-world events; 1979’s Space Shuttle Columbia, for example, was high on their list of suggestions.

Given a blank slate, though, I tended to write almost exclusively about imaginary characters and monsters — peppered, perhaps, with intermittent entries about dogs.  I distinctly remember drawing Bigfoot and Wildboy one day.  (If memory serves, we wrote and drew in our journals after recess, maybe to get us refocused.)  I drew them leaping over a fence and running toward the viewer.  (Seriously, the show had a lot of shots like that.  Check out the opening credits below.)

I remember a nun looking over my shoulder and inquiring delicately about the giant hairy humanoid and the half-naked boy … when I explained the characters to her, she suggested with (uncharacteristic) patience, “Tomorrow, let’s try to write about something from the real world.”

 

A short review of “Jigsaw” (2017)

I’m going along with the crowd today where “Jigsaw” (2017) is concerned; I concur entirely with the other reviews I’ve read.  It’s a story fraught with logical problems, but it’s entertaining enough to please fans of the franchise (of whom I am one).  Based on my own enjoyment of the movie, I’d rate it an 8 out of 10.

Yes, some of it doesn’t makes sense.  And the twists and coincidences seem pretty forced.  There was another problem for me, as well — at this point, the writers seem to have run out of ideas for the film series’ trademark moralizing booby traps.  (The one involving a grain silo is particularly uninspired, and seems like something out a Bugs Bunny cartoon.)

But what the hell.  I’d be lying if I said that this was a movie that didn’t distract and scare me.  I think what attracts me to the “Saw” films is not the blood and gore.  (Gory horror movies are a dime a dozen.)  It’s the character concept behind their brilliant, merciless killer — he’s like a combination of James Moriarty, Rube Goldberg and one of the Inquisitors of old.

Besides, I still like the twists.  They may be forced, but they always take me by surprise despite my best efforts to predict them.

And I think every movie is made better by the addition of Callum Keith Rennie.  (He’s a shady, grizzled police detective here, though he’s far better than so cliched a role.)  I’ve always thought Rennie was terrific — he deserves the lead role in some sort of extremely dark anti-hero film.  (Are they remaking 2005’s “Constantine” anytime soon?)

 

jigsaw3post

Publication notice: Poetry Pacific features three poems by Eric Robert Nolan

I’m honored to share here that the Vancouver-based Poetry Pacific published three of my poems today in its biannual issue: “This Windy Morning,” “Redbud Leaves,” and “Delaware Sheets.”  You can find all three at the link below.

“This Windy Morning” envisions a ghost story for my adopted city of Roanoke, Virginia.  “Redbud Leaves” is a very short nature poem I wrote while I lived among the hills of Northern Virginia, and “Delaware Sheets” is a short love poem that  wrote a few years back.  This third piece was published previously by Every Day Poets, Dead Snakes and UFO Gigolo.

I’m quite grateful to Editor-In-Chief Yuan Changming for selecting my work for publication.  The Autumn Issue features outstanding work from 73 poets and three visual artists.

http://poetrypacific.blogspot.com/2017/11/3-poems-by-eric-robert-nolan.html

 

 

 

An overcast autumn day in Salem

Salem, Virginia, November 2017.

 

20171104_155036

20171104_155201

20171104_155232

20171104_155344 (2)

20171104_155355

20171104_155407 (2)

20171104_160122 (2)

20171104_155103

 

 

Piper at the Gates of Nolan

Here’s one for my to-do list — I need to learn the flute, call upon my Irish heritage, and then lead all the skunks out of Roanoke, in the same manner as St. Patrick led the snakes out of Ireland.  (He used a flute, right?  And is this basically the same story as the Pied Piper? Is one derived from the other?)

Dear God, the smell of those skunks is categorically toxic.  It is quite possibly the only downside of living here.  That odor is one problem that my native New York does not have.  Hell, I’m willing to bet even New Jersey doesn’t have it.

 

 

 

A review of “Jeepers Creepers 3” (2017)

Jeepers.

The first two “Jeepers Creepers” movies are vastly underrated classics, in my opinion — they’re well scripted and boast a truly original and frightening bogeyman.  The third, regrettably, struggles to retain even a B movie charm.  It’s a substandard horror film that I’d only grudgingly rate a 4 out of 10.

“Jeepers Creepers 3” (2017) is cloddishly written and awkwardly filmed.  The film also suffers from action sequences that are absolutely cartoonish.  A lot of this stems from the titular Creeper’s antique vehicle, which is now inexplicably depicted as being … conscious?  Possessed by the Creeper?  It drives itself, deflects bullets, launches projectiles, and contains booby traps that defy physics.  This leads to some Wile E. Coyote-style fight scenes with the story’s various protagonists, in which the saddest victim is the franchise’s credibility.

About those protagonists — there are far too many to examine with any real success; the two ostensible teenage main characters fall a bit flat.  There are so many characters that have backstories connected with the Creeper (and his signature, decades-hopping supernatural murder sprees) that the film simply becomes confusing.  And that confusion is made worse by this film’s chronology with the previous movies — it takes place immediately after the first, but before the events of the second.  (In all fairness, maybe the problem is me … I am being quite honest when I write here that I just do not follow movies as well as other people.)

With all of this exposition, though, one bit of lore is egregiously omitted – contrary to some of the movie’s advance press, we learn nothing about the creature’s origins.  And this is extremely odd, because a bunch of characters do.  There is a befuddling central plot point where the good guys methodically gain knowledge of their otherworldly foe by … touching one of its severed body parts.  But we, the viewers, learn nothing.

Even the makeup and special effects were inferior to the prior films.

I’m confused by all of the things I’ve written above, as “Jeepers Creepers 3” was written and directed by Victor Salva, who wrote and directed the excellent previous movies in 2001 and 2003.

I hope I’m not being too hard on the movie, because there’s still some fun to be had.  Jonathan Breck still chews the scenery quite nicely as the Creeper, and the monster’s character concept still manages to please.  In a horror movie market often dominated by seemingly interchangeable serial killers and undead little girls, the Creeper is a truly inventive monster — part human; part gargoyle; part body-stealing, feral Frankenstein’s monster.  He’s fun to watch, particularly for horror fans who’ve grown tired of the Patrick Batemans and the various angry ghost children that endlessly haunt the zeitgeist.  You could do a lot worse for a plot-driving antagonist.

And, thanks to so brutal a bad guy, there are occasional moments of tension in the movie.  It’s a bit scary, for example, when he attacks a group of teenaged motorcyclists.

This isn’t enough to make recommend paying for the movie, however — even if you’re a fan of the franchise, as I am.  I’d wait for “Jeepers Creepers 3” to hit Netflix or Hulu, or wait until it’s playing on SyFy again.

 

 

'Jeepers_Creepers_3'_theatrical_release_poster

“Halloween Beetle Haiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Halloween Beetle

sheds not his clever costume —

a jack’o’lantern.

 

 

20171102_174833

Throwback Thursday: NBC’s “Cliffhangers” (1979)

We were chatting about obscure TV shows a couple of weeks ago after I shared a post about “Manimal” (which I was surprised to find lovingly remembered by some otherwise sane people).  I was shocked when someone else remembered “Cliffhangers,” which ran for a single season on NBC in 1979.

Dear God, did I love this show when I was a first grader.  I hollered whenever it came on; I’m pretty sure my Mom was amused by that.  I think this is technically the first prime-time show I was ever a fan of.  (Yeah, I ended that last sentence with a preposition; it’s my damn blog.)

 

Ouchey Mountain Town Flora.

This happens from time to time.  I’ll be out walking, and I’ll inexplicably return covered with these — which is weird, because I don’t remember brushing up against any plants.

They get into my bed, and they’re actually sharp — creating the very real danger of injury to my unmentionables.

 

20171021_190022