Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

A short review of “XX” (2017)

I’m sorry to report that this year’s “XX” doesn’t quite live up to the great horror anthology that its trailer promises.  This quartet of female-directed horror shorts is actually quite average, when considered together, and I’d give it a 6 out of 10.

Only the first segment is truly memorable — “The Box,” adapted from a short story by Jack Ketchum.  The directing and scoring is superb.  (Seriously, the music is quite good.)  The acting is also good throughout this segment, most especially by “The Strain’s” Natalie Brown.  She’s a good actress and she’s starting to grow on me.  (And her memorable last lines here, which I assume come from the text of Ketchum’s story, are weird and haunting.)  This quarter of “XX” gets under your skin.

Despite “The Box” being capably developed and unnerving, however, there were no conventional scares at all.  It hardly felt like a horror short; it was more like a particularly macabre and ambiguous parable.  Nor is the story’s mystery solved — it’s left open-ended.

The second segment is largely a waste of time, despite being stylishly shot and scored.  (Hint: it’s got the same story device as “Weekend at Bernie’s.”)

The remaining two tales are more standard horror stories.  I’d suggest they are somewhat fair at best.

I think I would recommend this only to the most well rounded horror fans who are in the mood for something different.  And, even then, it might only be for the peculiar elements of “The Box.”

 

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The trees around the Salem Post Office are goddam creepy.

They’re like undead Ents or something.

Why is that?

Also, I’ve come to learn that the bamboo I keep seeing is “golden bamboo,” a non-native, invasive species.

 

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A very short review of “Don’t Hang Up” (2017)

“Don’t Hang Up” (2017) is an absolutely derivative horror movie that nevertheless manages to be halfway decent.  I’d rate it a 7 out of 10.

We follow a handful of older teenage boys whose favorite avocation is perpetrating cruel prank phone calls and then posting them on the Internet.  The horror genre’s penchant for vengeance should make their comeuppance predictable.  “Don’t Hang Up” seems to borrow in equal (large) measure from the “Saw” and “Scream” film franchises, with touches of “Unfriended” (2014) and even “Silence of the Lambs” (1991).

Still, this was a halfway serviceable scary movie.  There were nice moments of tension, and it held my interest.

This doesn’t belong on anyone’s must-see list, but it’s a fun enough time-waster if you can’t find a better movie.

 

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Downtown Roanoke, Virginia, February 2017

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A very short review of “Arrival” (2016)

“Arrival” (2016) is an unusually smart and thought-provoking science fiction film.  It isn’t really intended by its creators as a “twist movie,” but it does include an unexpected component that should surprise and challenge the viewer.  (I don’t want to say more about it, for fear of spoilers.)

Amy Adams actually is a terrific actress, and she seems to do well in understated roles that require her to be thoughtful and deliberate.  (Jeremy Renner and Forest Whitaker are both quite good too, even if they seem confined to roles here that don’t require much range.)

One caveat — this isn’t a standard science fiction thriller.  (Although “Arrival” has some decent suspense, I’m inclined to think that this shouldn’t be considered a thriller at all.)  I do think that viewers expecting a more mainstream film will be disappointed with this story conclusion’s more subdued and unconventional payoff. (Again, I just can’t say more here.)

I’d rate this an 8 out of 10; and I would recommend it to science fiction fans.

 

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Like that camera that takes pictures of the future …

The Google Maps app on my phone is apparently opening itself and calculating trips to various locations.

Maybe there’s a short story idea hiding here somewhere.

 

 

 

 

A tiny review of “Stake Land II” (2016)

“Stake Land II” (2016) can’t match the magic of the original, but it’s still good enough to recommend, I guess.  I’d give it a 7 out of 10.  (I’m told that an alternate title is “Stakelander,” but I refuse to call it that, because it sounds too much like a spoof of either “Zoolander” or “Highlander.”)

This sequel has a direct-to-video feel to it.  Set a decade following the events of the original, the movie reunites Connor Paolo and Nick Damici, as the now-adult Martin and the enigmatic, vampire-killing powerhouse, “Mister.”  Paolo feels flat this time out, the movie is occasionally slow, and the action sequences are a little underwhelming.

Still, Damici shines.  And I couldn’t help but find myself engaged by the movie as a whole.  Even if the film isn’t a classic, the brutal, unflinching “Stake Land” fictional universe is still front and center.  The post-apocalyptic setting and character backstories are so dark and unpredictable that the film is still fun for a seasoned horror fan.  It’s at least as interesting as an average episode of AMC’s “The Walking Dead.”

 

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“Consciousness Haiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Consciousness Haiku:

Self-aware atoms
in a byzantine system —
Neurons feign a man.

(c) Eric Robert Nolan 2017

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Photo credit: By Nevit Dilmen (talk) – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1510783

Two cents from a former news reporter.

I spent time as a newspaper reporter. It was only a couple of years, but it was a demanding job that I “lived” more than worked. And it was my first professional job after college.

I loved it. It was a priceless experience for learning about the world and about my fellow human beings. And I honestly think it shaped me.

Let me tell you something — public figures who vilify the news media should not be trusted.

They are few and far between. (You might be surprised to hear me tell you that plenty of “politicians” are actually good, admirable people, working hard and doing their best to serve their community.)

But those who blast the media, or seek to control it, tend to be power-hungry individuals who are simply unaccustomed to having their authority questioned. They also tend to be less intelligent than their colleagues who are more at ease dealing with reporters. I swear it — local officials or staff who have poor relationships with reporters definitely tend to be less educated and more extreme in their views.

You know, of course, whose tweets (sigh) prompted me to write this. (It’s getting so that my abhorrence for the man makes me cringe at even typing his name.)

Of course I may be biased as a former “newsie.” But bias in America lately seems to be all the rage.

Seriously. Like June.

I don’t know what these are (Japanese Mazus?  Birdseye Speedwell?), but they arrived today to brightly pepper the hills around Roanoke.

Maybe it’s because this February feels like June.

“Birdseye Speedwell” sounds like a hillbilly superhero.

[UPDATE: a friend of mine has informed me that this is “Blue Star Creeper.”]

 

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