Americans, please consider voting for me.
The first priority of my administration will be establishing a database and surveillance of rich assholes.
Also? A free copy of George Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty-Four” to any American citizen who requests one. A copy of the United States Constitution will be tucked inside.
Here’s what I came up with:
1) “The kingdom is burning. Hold me.”
2) Frigid giants arise from enchanted ice.
3) Within that crystal, endless worlds turned.
4) Magic wrens rescued her from nightmare.
5) Six elves, six dragons? Good odds.
6) The statutes were men, magically doomed.
7) Prophecies foretold invasion. But … by fairies?!
8) My third wish? Infinite wishes. (Duh.)
9) With this ring, I thee RULE.
I found this on Facebook; it was just too good not to share. That maple leaf representing Wolverine’s Canadian heritage is an especially nice touch. I am unaware of the (actual) artist.
When I was 10 years old, I would argue at length with the kid next door about who would win in a fight — Wolverine or Silver Surfer.
Sigh … okay, I was actually 20 years old, and a college junior, and I was arguing in Mary Washington College’s New Hall with senior John Mathias.
“But he has the Power Cosmic!” John endlessly asserted about Silver Surfer.
If Wolverine’s adamantium claws could cut through anything, I astutely countered, “then they could cut through the Power Cosmic!” Then I took another swig of my beer.
I had a well rounded education.
I am honored yet again to see one of my poems published by Dead Snakes. Thanks to Editor Stephen Jarrell Williams for allowing me to share “Graceless Ravens Envy You” at the link below:
http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2015/11/eric-robert-nolan-poem.html
And, by the way, my friend Tejal Jhaveri Moen has also published a new piece at Dead Snakes! Click the link below to read “A Tearless Cry.”
http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2015/11/tejal-jhaveri-moen-poem_13.html
Anyway … in searching Wikimedia Commons for a public domain photo for this post, I learned that there is such a thing as a “Chihuahua Raven” (corvus cryptoleucus). That’s just wrong on several levels. I suggest that we hunt it to extinction.
Photo credit: by Shahnoor Habib Munmun (Own work) [CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons.
Okay, mine kinda sucks:
“Parallel universe,” explained the other me.
How about this one?
“Warning: Rabies Virus Airborne. Flee Infected.”
Let me try again:
“Remember when cats were OUR pets?”
My obligatory wolf entry:
“GenetiClaw Inc.: Now, werewolves CAN exist.””
One more:
“Trump is a poorly programmed robot!”
[UPDATE: Pete Harrison just came up with one!]
“Nolan and Woods: the perfect clones.”
And another!
“NO MORE GAMES!!!” cried the android.
“Circle” (2015) is a particularly dark sci-fi thriller that manages to be pretty good despite its obviously low budget. I’d give it a 7 out of 10.
Fifty strangers awaken in mysterious high-tech room in which they’re forced to vote on who among them will next die, until only one survivor remains. (It’s a setup reminiscent of the “Survivor” reality tv series. Good Lord, has that show really been on for 15 years?!) Other amatuer reviewers have called this a “study in human nature;” I think maybe that’s a bit generous. We see a few obvious stereotypes and some pretty thin characters (even if a couple of unexpected flourishes were very well played). I also think that the vast majority of people who would find themselves in this story’s setting would lack the composure we see from virtually every character on screen.
Still, this movie was different and creative. It kept me in suspense at times, and held my attention. And early on, the talk about awakening “in a red room” appears to be a pretty cool nod to what seems like this movie’s direct inspiration — 1997’s classic “Cube.”
I really disliked the ending, but an explanation about why would be a tremendous spoiler.
Let’s get something out of the way first — “Bone Tomahawk” (2015) isn’t only a western. It’s a genre-busting … “horror-western,” as other review sites have called it. It pits four protagonists against a tribe of monstrous “cave dwellers” who have kidnapped two people from their tiny frontier town of “Bright Hope.” And the results at the movie’s end are pretty damned horrifying.
This was superb — I’d give it a 9 out of 10. “Bone Tomahawk” succeeds in being scary and enjoyable simply because it’s a quality film. The script is outstanding, with nuanced, occasionally funny, and ultimately quite likable characters. The four leads — Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox and Richard Jenkins — play the diverse quartet perfectly. I could honestly watch another one or two movies about these guys, even without the horror-movie plot device that this flick employs — and that is coming from a guy that doesn’t like westerns.
The directing and cinematography are perfect. And the end of the movie is nerve-shattering, smartly written and satisfying. (Although there is one violent sequence that might make your heart stop. Good lord.)
My only criticisms are very subjective. For one, this movie sometimes felt slow. The exciting horror-movie element that drives the plot is introduced early, but briefly. It is then more than an hour before we arrive at it again, as we follow the four protagonists traveling to an uncharted valley just to reach the bad guys’ lair.
For another … this movie got just a little too dour during its lengthy second act (the trek to the valley where the climax takes place). We see a few sad things, including the fates of innocent people and animals. These punctuate what is literally a painful journey for one of our heroes waging a doomed battle against a horribly wounded leg. Throughout its middle, “Bone Tomahawk” isn’t so much of a “scary movie” as it is a slightly depressing movie.
Still, this was fantastic. And if you see it and you really like it, as I did, then spread the word. This flick hasn’t gotten the press it deserves.
Quick postscript: watch for David Arquette and none other than Sid Haig in surprise supporting roles! And … supposedly Sean Young was in this movie, but I’ll be damned if I could spot her.
If you’re looking for an outstanding fashion, glamour or events photographer in the New York area, then peruse the work of my Longwood High School Alumnus, James Dentel. James has a terrific eye, and his work is absolutely beautiful.
You can see from that from the shots below. They were taken at the recent “Three Nights of Horror” Halloween weekend event at the Lava Nightclub and Exit 33 in Verona, NY.
You can find more samples of James’ work at the “Photos by JD” Facebook page, and at his website:
https://www.facebook.com/PhotosByJamesD/info/
Nice work, James.
I’m becoming concerned … I keep seeing more troubling signs that I am getting older.
I can’t eat pizza and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream all day without feeling yucky. And I have gone shopping and DELIBERATELY looked for vegetables.
I bitch inwardly about the quality of America’s public education system all the time. (Don’t even get me started.) I actually begin some of my (admittedly peculiar) inner monologues with the words, “There was a time in this country when …” I have also lamented that “things were different 20 years ago.”
It recently dawned on me that my longstanding idolization of Kevin Smith may be waning … last year’s “Tusk” just didn’t do it for me, and his recent appearance on “The Talking Dead” just seemed to feature too much childish sex humor. I cringed. (Lengthy analogies about oral sex aren’t THAT hilarious, people. I suggest they have a 10-second half life.) I still think that Smith is brilliant; I just think maybe his particular style of humor might better appeal to a guy in his 20’s.
In the Marvel movies’ upcoming “Civil War” storyline entries, I’m firmly on the side of Captain America, and not Iron Man. Yeah, Tony Stark has the wit and the charm and the girls and the cash. But Cap has character and good American values, with an emphasis on civil liberties. Cap would never subject black people to an unreasonable search and seizure. He wouldn’t enter a private home without a warrant. And he would uphold a legal wall of separation between church and state. Dunno about Tony.
Tori Amos is still cool, but she sounds NUTS in her interviews.
I played with a friend’s little girl on the swings the other day … and I actually got DIZZY after donning a swing myself, and trying to swing as high as her. THAT was disconcerting.
My doctor told me to knock off all the sugar, and I am totally taking her seriously.
My buddy shared a picture today of the original Star Wars cast in 1977. When I was a tot, I looked up to Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia. When I was in fifth grade, “Return of the Jedi” Leia was my heart’s desire. (I need not even mention in which outfit.) Today, 1977 Carrie Fisher looks like a sweet girl who could be my college sophomore daughter. (Seriously, she looks YOUNG, people.) Harrison Ford looks like that older kid in our hometown with the camaro, who I need to keep away from her. Mark Hamill looks like that sweet kid down the block who wants a date with her, but won’t get one.
My friends from Longwood High School are now teachers at Longwood High School. The cognitive dissonance connected with that is significant.
And tonight it has dawned on me that (I can’t believe I am saying this) Depeche Mode is getting maybe a little played out for me. Oh God, I can’t believe I just typed that. I still love MODE, I swear it! I just think that after “Violator” has been in my playlist for two decades, it’s maybe time to retire the lesser songs like “World In My Eyes” and find some more new music.
But not “Policy of Truth.” THAT SONG WILL LIVE FOREVER. (And never again is what you swore the time before.)
Here’s a particularly nice shot of the Whitestone Bridge, connecting Queens, New York, with the Bronx (and Connecticut beyond). My Longwood High School Alumnus James Dentel shot this recently, and he was kind enough to let me use it.
This is the bridge referenced in my poem, “Amanda,” which was featured by Dagda Publishing and by Dead Snakes.
I used live not far from here. Yes, New York can be a rough place, but Whitestone, Queens and adjacent Beechurst were two of the greatest neighborhoods I ever inhabited.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 