Tag Archives: humor

You know you’re a sci-fi/horror fan if the term “Winter Storm Blair” immediately makes you think of this person.

Two snowfalls within a week?

This feels like a normal winter.

And normalcy, my friends, was not on my 2025 bingo card.



I’m confused about how this will lower grocery prices.

 

#Ican’tseeshit

Was wondering who the hell “Susan Lilly” was.

Then I put my glasses on and saw that caller ID was just telling me “Scam Likely.”



Future Tense.

BritBud last night:     “Happy New Year from the future!”

Me:     “Happy New Year from the shameful and sordid past!”



Poetry and Commentary, 2024

2024 was a banner year for my poetry.  If you happen to enjoy my ongoing, Kafka-esque portraiture of a neurotic scribbler, all of the year’s publications can be found right here:

Poetry and Commentary, 2024



It’s true what they say — never shop stupid.

Which one of you bastards swapped out my chicken noodle soup with this “cream of chicken” monstrosity?  Because this stuff is a Lovecraftian horror whose secret ingredient is human suffering.

Seriously, this is what chicken would taste like if a diabolical AI had prepared it using only a rusty, radioactive blender and incomplete recipes gleaned from the ruins of a Cold War gulag — and if the chickens themselves had cholera.

Alright, alright — it maybe isn’t THAT bad, but I was jonesing for some real SOUP, and not this puzzling, paste-based concoction.

And of course the fault is mine.  (It always is.)  I grabbed the wrong package off the shelf at Kroger when I got excited over the sale price.  A lot of Campbell’s Soups look alike.



A Yuletide Flu.

So I had a Merry Sickmas.  We think it must have been some version of the flu, though it was curiously absent of any respiratory symptoms.

Trust me — the fever, fatigue and confusion were bad enough.  (Alright, yeah, the confusion for me is sort of a constant thing.)

It turns out I’m not the only one who was under the weather.  There are apparently a couple of different bugs going around; I know people from New York to Ohio for whom contagion was an unwanted present.

Anyway, pictured below is how I turned the corner on my illness.  (It’s been a slow process, but I got sick last Sunday and I feel like I am finally almost better right now.)  A fellow writer out in Arizona sent me this delectable fudge as a Festival of Lights gift, and it was one of the first things I was able to eat.  (The tiny little spoon it came with was just perfect for beginning with little bites.)

And it was at precisely that point when I stopped getting sicker and started getting better.  Fudge is superfood.



Are you … MacReady for Christmas?

I apologize.  Not for the violent satire of beloved childhood characters but for the terrible pun in the headline.

Roanokers, look out your window!! (8:23 AM.)