Pal of mine built a custom deck for his backyard; he got offended when I referred to it as a “porch.”

Admittedly, it was a porch choice of words.

Because omelettepus sounds too weird.

Don’t lie.  You know you want some.

It’s … Irish-Italian fusion cooking, or something.

Delicious.  It’s delicious; let’s just leave it at that.

By the way … asking someone to pronounce the word “spaghetti” is a reliable way of testing whether or not they are a vampire.