Why did I buy white sweatpants? Was I pretending to be a gymnast?
They are also way too big — like maybe MC Hammer joined the KKK for some reason.
Tag Archives: humor
Toucan play at that game.
Mystery blue-green gunk on my windowsill. Like two unhealthy toucans stopped by there to gather their strength.
Yes, I do realize that “two unhealthy toucans” are my go-to suspects for all sorts of things, because my mind is weird like that. But this time it actually kinda fits.
Product placement totally works.
I’ve been jonesing for Chef Boyardee Ravioli ever since the now famous exchange between Joel and Ellie on HBO’s “The Last of Us” (2023).
Look at what I brought home from the store.
It actually is tasty stuff, though.
Graffiti in Roanoke, Virginia, April 2023
I love this town — even the graffiti is polite and upbeat. I may never leave.
It’s okay. Jesus forgives *ALL* my bad puns.
Easter — the holy day on which pun lovers everywhere tell the risen Jesus that it’s nice tomb meet him.
Update — someone on Facebook just told me to “Savior the moment!”
“The Southern Diner Short Poem,” by Eric Robert Nolan
How about some mozzarella
for this 50-year-old fella?
Gimme just enough eggs and cheese
to stop my frikkin’ arteries, please.
Share your cheer and take my money.
No, I don’t mind if you call me “Honey.”
Photo credit: Sarah Stierch (CC BY 4.0)
(Especially the part about not sleeping.)
I am wealthy in Mini-wheats!
I now have totally awesome author/editor friends sending me frosted mini-wheats as poet fuel!!! (Thanks again, Mrs. T.) 😃
I recently confided in my Facebook friends that these things are addictive, and that I might need an intervention. (We don’t actually know for sure what is in that white powder frosting, after all.)
And now I realize that they come in varieties!!! My package included Strawberry and … High Fiber! LOL
HOBO EGGS!
Multiple people in my life have informed me (with no small amount of gravity) that I need to learn how to cook. So I am at least trying something new and super easy.
These are what I’ve heard referred to as “hobo eggs” — eggs fried right within a hole in the bread. (You can add cheese as they cook.) I only learned their name recently — a child character asks for them on incredibly underrated (and inscrutably named) horror show, “From” (2022). (Seriously, this series will scare the hell out of you.)
Believe it or not, this simple dish goes back at least as far as colonial America. I worked as a character interpreter/tour guide for The Rising Sun Tavern in Fredericksburg, Virginia, as a college student just about … 29 years ago. (Sigh.) And the recipe was in a “Colonial American Cookbook” that we sold in the gift shop. (No, I have no idea why I remember the strange things that I do.)
But there it was named “toad-in-the-hole” — which was kind of an odd choice, if you wanted to make something sound appetizing.
You crackers ought to love this joke.
I think I’ll stick with my store brand “woven wheats” crackers.
(If it ain’t broke, don’t Triscuit.)
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 