If people want to enjoy something, then let them enjoy it … there’s no point in taking their joy away by shaming them over something that brings them happiness. Be kind. JUST KIDDING — PUMPKIN PIE IS ****ING DISGUSTING — AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR YOUR PERVERSE IMPULSE TO ACTUALLY *INGEST* THE STUFF.

Update: Shephard’s pie ain’t all that great either. And I’m allowed to say that because I’m Irish.

Here’s an irony for you. I actually WOULD probably love octopus pie, if such a dish existed — and that doubtless would repulse a lot of people. But I love the squiggly little tasty fellas. OMG — they could call it “octo-pie” and its name could be a pun. I need to patent this idea.

Gonna buy me a milkshake. 🙂

Which might actually attract more followers, given its proven efficacy at bringing boys to the yard.

Cheddar-burger, cheddar-burger, burnin’ in the pan.
Get rid of that smoke with the overhead fan.
I don’t wanna start an actual fire,
because then I would be a homeless man.

I tried to leave a building via some glass doors tonight, and saw ANOTHER goofy fat dude trying to enter at the same time.  I backed off TWICE trying to let him come through before I exited — then I realized I was being polite to my own reflection.

People saw this happen.

“They just like being depressed. They like it. They’re still under bondage, still pissed off about potatoes, I don’t know.”

*It’s cool if I laugh at this because I am 100 percent Irish.

You’ve just gotta hear her say it in her bored voice and southwestern accent.  I might just change my Twitter sub-head to “pissed off about potatoes.”