Hence that first picture (of a hole in the ground).  I swear to you that I almost stepped in it and broke my leg.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again — you people have no idea what I go through to bring you these pictures.

What kind of burrow is that, anyway?  Gopher?  Wolverine?  Badger?  Why do I want so badly for it to be a badger burrow?  Is it because badgers are cool, and I haven’t seen one yet in Virginia?  Is it just the alliteration and consonance of “badger burrow?”  Wouldn’t that make a great name for a roadside bar or restaurant?  I’m rambling again.

Ever get a haircut and come home and take a nap? And then forget that you got a haircut that day when you awake? And then, when you walk into a dark bathroom and see your reflection in the mirror, you think it’s a short-haired intruder?

I SWEAR to you — my first thought was “Who is this #%&*ing shoe salesman?!”

Why did my half-asleep brain go right to “shoe salesman?” It probably says something about me on an unconscious level …

This frequently means that when I type “I hope,” it changes it to “I hoe.” It happened in a blog post the other day.

Awkwardness ensues.

“I Hoe” kinda sounds like a pornographic satire of Asimov’s “I, Robot.”

Yes.  What you are seeing below is indeed a rug made out of stuffed animals.  Sewn together.  With their stuffing removed.

I am as unsettled as you are — as are no small number of commenters at the craft page on Facebook where this was posted.  My best friend, however, wrote that she “LOVES” it — because she is a terribly misguided soul, despite her brilliance, and we still have a long way to go with her.

To me, this seems like “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” meets the Island of Misfit Toys …

Or maybe … Toy Gory?

Silence of the Lamb Chop?

The kindest joke I can think of is Joseph and the Amazing Teddycolor Dreamcoat — and somehow that is only marginally less creepy.

Yes, I realize that photo filters are nothing new.  But they’re new and amazing to me, because I am old, and I was never quick to catch on to things in the first place.  This is actually my first use of a filter, and I only discovered it by accident because I’m befuddled by the Facebook Messenger app on my cell phone.

I hope you like it.  I’m so glad they had a horror theme instead of just sunglasses and neon kitten ears and stuff.  I even ran into the woods behind my house for the creepiest effect.