A friend of mine lives on this street in Salem, Virginia.
She says the rents are dirt cheap, but it sucks having to keep the windows boarded up to keep the zombies out.
Can you imagine if the cross street was named “Grimes Avenue?” That would be F%*#ing EPIC.
Gonna write a screenplay in which a man sells his soul to the devil to win every street race he enters.
Gonna call it “The Faust and the Furious.”
Starring Sin Diesel.
No matter how many letters I write to Hollywood, I’m still waiting on that “Wolf Creek”/”Dawson’s Creek” crossover movie.
I’m starting to worry it might not happen.
This dog’s gas is suffocating.
And that makes sense. Because it’s so damned big you could park a hybrid car in its colon.
There should be a new drink called “The Donald Trump Presidency.” Any cheap Russian vodka will do, but the secret ingredient is that it needs to be bought illegally over the Internet.
Pour it in a “yuge” glass, stir it up like misguided populism, and insist that it’s “GREAT,” even if tastes like piss. Then drink it until you’re a racist braggart and an imbecile who can’t form coherent sentences — or at least until you make sexually suggestive remarks about your own daughter.
It might taste like a bitter pill to a majority of Americans, but certain Republicans will cheerfully swallow it down like a fake news story. The only danger is to Republican partygoers is that they might grow so belligerent that they fight amongst themselves, dividing their party.
Photo credit: By © Achim Raschka / Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY-SA-3.0, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=26371496
I want a crossover between “Hellraiser” and “Sanford and Son” entitled “The Lamont Configuration.”
WHO’S WITH ME?
Thanks to Mean Meme-Makin’ Blog Correspondent Pete Harrison for the pic.
I smelled something burning, and I thought I’d left the stove on downstairs.
A few friends of mine were joking yesterday about “The Making of Trump,” a documentary aired last year by the dubiously named History Channel.
I told them he probably talked them into it by promising them a wall to protect them from “Ancient Aliens.”
So I finally caved and watched the series pilot of “Game of Thrones.” Here is my summary:
[SPOILERS.] Albino forest monsters are f**king terrifying. Boromir actually survived “The Lord of the Rings;” now he’s a d**k to his subordinates. Cool Sarah Connor dyes her hair blonde; lame Sarah Connor gets nude. Peter Dinklage is a fantastic actor; every other character is dwarfed by his intellect. (See what I did there?) Wolf pups look suspiciously like Husky pups.
Dragon eggs look disappointingly fake. Barbarians act all badass; 1980’s Conan could take all of them. People have to take a vow of celibacy to guard Donald Trump’s wall, for some reason.
A child is named “Bran;” is he good for roughage? Denis Leary Doppleganger is a d**k to children.
Seriously, though — this show is awesome.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 