Breaking news — the president released his own early design for his planned border wall, complete with its moat filled with alligators and snakes.
Details will follow shortly after presidential nap-time.
All posts by Eric Robert Nolan
*&@#. NOW I’M A DUTCH SCHOOLBOY.
Update: I’m referring to the result of a haircut. I haven’t been the victim of a spell that magically transformed me into a Dutch schoolboy.
Update 2: “I SPILLED SNERT IN MY STROOPWAFEL, HEADMASTER.”
Update 3: “Hey, Girl. Wanna go out sometime? We can go Dutch.”
Update 4: DUTCH DO IT.
Update 5: I got a response to this last night from someone I think is a real, actual Dutch person. She writes: “Can you just ride my bike and Presto I’m there. Hash tag lazy American omg do you have tequila.”
I’m … I’m not even sure what all of that means, but it sounds fun.
Poster for “All the President’s Men” (1976)
Warner Bros. Pictures.
Tis’ the season.
Isn’t this the coolest Halloween card ever? The little skeleton guy dances.
Hope you guys have something scary planned for the month ahead. I’ve got a short list of movies I’d love to make time for: “Dracula” (1939), “House of the Devil” (2009), “Annabelle Creation” (2017) and “Mr. Mercedes” Season 3 (2019). Yeah, I know that last one isn’t a feature film, but it’s a program of truly cinematic quality. “Mr. Mercedes” has been the best kept secret in Stephen King fandom — no, its antagonist isn’t as flashy as Pennywise the Clown or The Gunslinger’s various nemeses. But it’s a gorgeous adaptation of a King novel that might even be better than its source material. Check it out, seriously — skip “American Horror Story” if you have to.
There are two movies I need to get to that have been recommended to me with a lot of enthusiasm. The first is “In the Mouth of Madness,” 1994’s H.P. Lovecraft adaptation starring Sam Neill. (I actually started it a few years ago after a friend in New York urged me to, but it just didn’t hold my interest.) The second is 2001’s “Shadow of the Vampire,” which features Willem Dafoe doing Nosferatu. (I only discovered just now writing this that John Malkovich portrays F.W. Murnau.)
I’ll tell you something else, too — I’ve checked out one or two short films on the free ALTER channel and they’ve been terrific. Maybe I’m due for another visit there.
“Y,” Zdzisław Beksiński, 2005
Oil on beaverboard.
“Secrecy is the keystone to all tyranny.”
“Secrecy is the keystone to all tyranny. Not force, but secrecy and censorship. When any government or church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, This you may not read, this you must not know, the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control a man who has been hoodwinked in this fashion; contrariwise, no amount of force can control a free man, whose mind is free. No, not the rack nor the atomic bomb, not anything. You can’t conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.”
— Robert A. Heinlein
Cover to “Marvel Comics Presents” #77, Barry Windsor-Smith and Larry Alexander, 1991
Marvel Comics.
This is *#$%ing insane.
The imbecile is on Twitter tonight making references to Civil War if he is impeached. (He retweeted Pastor Robert Jeffries predicting such a contingency.)
Now people are asking whether Trump’s retweet is itself treason, if he’s actually encouraging armed retaliation following a lawful impeachment process (and his presumed removal from office).
I might just dress as Rudy Giuliani this Halloween.
The costume will scare the shit out of any crooks who think I’ll accidentally implicate them.
Photo credit: By Amazinggena – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=77474912
Cover to “Marvel Comics Presents” #78, Al Milgrom, 1991
Marvel Comics.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 