All posts by Eric Robert Nolan

Eric Robert Nolan graduated from Mary Washington College in 1994 with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. He spent several years a news reporter and editorial writer for the Culpeper Star Exponent in Culpeper, Virginia. His work has also appeared on the front pages of numerous newspapers in Virginia, including The Free Lance – Star and The Daily Progress. Eric entered the field of philanthropy in 1996, as a grant writer for nonprofit healthcare organizations. Eric’s poetry has been featured by Dead Beats Literary Blog, Dagda Publishing, The International War Veterans’ Poetry Archive, and elsewhere. His poetry will also be published by Illumen Magazine in its Spring 2014 issue.

A beautiful woman tied me up this Christmas. (Pics.)

Isn’t this tie the greatest?  She sure can pick ’em!  I like to think of it as a bold, metallic blue.

Or maybe cerulean blue, like a gentle breeze.  (Actually, it isn’t, but I can’t resist an obscure “The X-Files” reference.)

And it has the truly unpredictable effect of enhancing my impression of Robert De Niro in “The Untouchables!”  (See the photos below; I am the one on the right.)

 

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Cover to “JSA” #54, Carlos Pacheco, 2013

DC Comics.

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A very short review of “Guardians of the Galaxy” (2014)

I had fun with “Guardians of the Galaxy” (2014).  I’d rate it an 8 out of 10, if a little grudgingly.  For me, it started quite strong with its introduction of Chris Pratt’s roguish space antihero; I actually had no idea he could be this funny.  (I’ve only seen him once before, weighed down by the failed comedic scripting of 2015’s “Jurassic World.”)

I’m sorry to say that my interest in “Guardians of the Galaxy” waned just a bit as it subsequently unfolded as a cartoonish, relatively tame, family-friendly adventure — complete with a heartwarming value-of-friendship lesson.  That’s fine, I guess — it’s cool and it makes sense that the Marvel Cinematic Universe should offer films more appropriate for younger viewers.  Can you imagine, however, how hilarious this movie would be if it truly deserved its (befuddling) PG-13 rating, and really pressed the envelope?  Between Pratt’s wit and these offbeat character concepts, it would be amazing.

I still had fun with this, though, thanks mainly to the action and the impressive special effects.  I’d recommend it, and I’m planning on seeing the sequel.

Postscript — people are saying that this is the MCU’s answer to “Star Wars,” and I suppose it could be.  But I had a lot more fun thinking that the movie was channeling Harry Harrison’s priceless science fiction book series featuring criminal-antiheroes — the “Stainless Steel Rat” adventures.

 

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Illustration of Santa Claus for Coca-Cola advertisement, Haddon Sundblom, circa 1931

Merry Christmas, All!

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“Twas the Night Before Christmas,” by Clement Clarke Moore (read by Eric Robert Nolan)

The poem’s actual title is “A Visit From St. Nicholas,” but the above is the title by which many of us remember it.

I hope that you and yours enjoy a wonderful Christmas Eve tonight.  Just make sure you are fast asleep when St. Nick arrives.  (He can always tell!)

*****

“A Visit from St. Nicholas”

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

 

 

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“Christmas Wish” (She & Him)

From the album “A Very She & Him Christmas.”

 

“Fruitcake,” by Edward Gorey, circa 1990 (?)

I can’t ascertain the date for this one.

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Cover to “Batman: the Long Halloween” #3, Tim Sale, 1997

DC Comics.

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Yes, “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie. Now get over it and go watch “A Midnight Clear.”

The perennial half-joking debate about whether “Die Hard” (1988) is a Christmas movie will be with us for a long time, I guess.  Yes, it is a Christmas movie — not only does it take place on Christmas Eve, the holiday helps set up the plot.  (Our protagonists are at the besieged Nakatomi Tower for a Christmas party.)  It just happens to be an ironic Christmas movie, that’s all.

And if we’re on the subject of ironic Christmas movies, I have to recommend “A Midnight Clear” (1992).  It’s one of those films that doesn’t deserve its obscurity.  It’s absolutely exceptional and poetic, which makes it maddening to me that a lot of people haven’t even heard of it.

I won’t describe it at length, because it’s one of those movies where “the less you know, the more you’ll enjoy it.”  (Even its central plot development is meant to be unexpected.)  I’ve never seen the trailer for this, but I can only imagine that it fails to avoid at least some spoilers.

Suffice to say that “A Midnight Clear” is a truly great film — one I would rate a perfect 10.  It’s perfect.  It just might make you look at war differently.

It’s a collection of contradictions, too.  It’s a war movie with an (arguably) pacifist message, and a “Christmas movie” that is absolutely mournful.  (I am not actually suggesting that anyone watch it to feel festive.)  It’s also a World War II movie made in the 90’s, but it feels as though it’s channeling the sadness and existential loss of the post-Vietnam 1970’s.

Again, if you choose to watch it, learn as little as possible about it beforehand.  And be aware that it’s probably sadder than you think.  Let me know what you think about it, too.  I’m curious about how other people feel about it.

 

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Well. THIS one hits close to home.

I’m talking about both the poet thing AND my longstanding fear of veiled bears.

(Illustration by Edward Gorey.)

 

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