“The mind of a writer can be a truly terrifying thing.”

Thanks for passing this along to me, Jaine Sirieys!  🙂

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A review of “Parallels” (2015)

First, a clarification — “Parallels” (2015) is absolutely not a feature film; it’s an undisguised attempt at a pilot for an ongoing web-based series.  I think it’s pretty cruddy of Netflix to market it as a standalone film, as viewers expecting a conclusive story will doubtless be disappointed.  Its parallel universe-hopping premise also seems so similar to “Sliders” (1995-1999) that it just might approach the boundary between inspiration and ripoff.

With that said, however … dear LORD!!!  “Parallels” was frikkin’ FANTASTIC.  What we’ve got here is a far edgier, grownup version of “Sliders,” with a first episode introducing the same type of show-spanning mysteries as “Lost.”  But where “Sliders” was milquetoast primetime family fare, this looks like an excellent serialized thriller with plenty of pathos.

What a shame this thoughtful series never reached fruition.  I was hooked.  It’s smartly written by Christopher Leone; he’s visibly well acquainted with string theory, and has a hell of a lot of clever fun with it.  “Parallels” is a face-paced 80 minutes that follows a tragic, dysfunctional modern family embroiled in the mystery of the plot-driving “Building.”  The Building appears to be the nexus of countless parallel universes, a bit like the “The Dark Tower” links them in Stephen King’s multiverse.  The cast is uniformly good; the standouts were Eric Jungmann as the comic relief and Michael Monks as an understated but terrific bad guy.

I had only a few tiny quibbles.  Some of the family melodrama and the mysteries were a little forced and heavy-handed.  The ending (?) here, while really intriguing, also borrows a page or two from “Cube” (1997) and one particularly good episode of Ron Moore’s “Battlestar Galactica” (2004-2009).

I’m not sure how to rate this.  It fails as a standalone film, I think, because it simply doesn’t have an ending.  I suppose I’d give it … a 4 out of 10?  If you can forgive that fatal flaw, however, and want to enjoy some top-shelf science fiction, then I’d easily give it a 9 out of 10.

Dammit.  Why wasn’t this show made?

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“Graceless Ravens Envy You,” by Eric Robert Nolan

“Graceless Ravens Envy You,” by Eric Robert Nolan

Revel in apostasy.
You are the black dove, hovering
High in an inklike arc.

Blacker, even, than
coal-colored wolves in onyx lines seeking
quarry at starless midnight.

More ebon, even, than
narrow sable blacksnakes staying
cravenly in shade at noon.

Darker, even, than
murders of crows, newly legion at Autumn, amassing
among saw-wing martins at dusk.

You’re blacker, even, then the rooks.
Graceless ravens envy you.

Remember your rebirth?
The sun rose,
Your birdsong changed and then
the questions flew from your beak
faster even than the wrens?
Faster than you could fly?
For a moment, they rendered
all the world obsidian.

Remember your feathers burning?
Sunlight striking your wings and then
all the slow alabaster there
singing, quickening into
aerodynamic black?
Remember the flock’s suspicion?

Remember your siblings, the nest?
Remember when
all their pearl heads turned
their backlit crowns in morning sun
ringed so thinly in shining ivory?

Their song was interrupted,
Yours was made a query —
empiricism’s aria.
Flustered, they fluttered
at all the low notes.
They were all immaculate;
you were the color of night.

Now you arc alone —
soar and sin and sing,
the unrepentant one.

Somewhere an ordinary dog,
awakening from shadow,
howls at the sun.

(c) Eric Robert Nolan 2015

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Photo credit: “Indian Crow vs” by Venkatx5 – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

Illustration 10 for Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven,” by Gustave Dore, 1884

For the line “Merely this and nothing more.”

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Photo credit: By Gustave Dore (dore.artpassions.net/) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

A short review of “American Ultra” (2015)

The Manchurian candidate is a common trope.  A Manchurian candidate hidden within a neurotic, drug addled, underachieving comic book creator is actually pretty creative.

That’s just one of the reasons that “American Ultra” (2015) had the makings of a great movie.  This film has more going for it too.  The soft spoken Jesse Eisenberg is extremely talented, being both quite funny and bizarrely likeable in the role.   Kristen Stewart is also just great.  (I haven’t seen her in the “Twilight” films that made her famous/infamous, but she really impressed me as a child actress in 2002’s terrific “Panic Room.”) And, like Eisenberg, Connie Britton has perfect comic timing and delivery.  (I’m still smiling at her offhand “Hey!” to the guy in the barn.)

Regrettably, maybe just past the halfway mark, this film loses its way just a bit.  The humor stops being character- and dialogue-driven, and the fish-out-of-water comedy sort of segues into a generic (and not terribly well executed) action –thriller.  There are some half-hearted action set pieces that aren’t especially well staged, or even well conceptualized.  And precisely nobody acts as though they have any sort of government or military training — either conventional or subliminally hidden.  Does EVERYONE in hollywood movies ALWAYS cluster together in a clear field of fire without seeking cover?

There is another miscalculation, too, that makes “American Ultra” less than great.  Our bad guys are cartoonish.  Eisenberg’s pursuers turn out to be (sigh) former mental patients who have received the same mental conditioning.  One is code-named “Laugher” because he cackles hysterically.  (That’s something out of a mediocre comic book.) And, like everyone’s least favorite Spiderman movie from the 2000’s, Topher Grace is cast against type as a raging psychotic.  (Am I the only one who thinks he was far funnier as the mild-mannered, relatable everyteen in “That 70’s Show?”)

How much funnier would this movie have been overall if Eisenberg’s quirky antihero (and maybe his weird friends) were the only comedic characters?  What if all their antagonists were “straight men” characters who ironically struggled in vain to defeat them?  This film could have been a classic.

Oh, well.  I still liked this well enough.  I’d give it a 7 out of 10.

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Illustration 14 for Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven,” by Gustave Dore, 1884

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Photo credit: By Gustave Dore (dore.artpassions.net/) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Congress fails to extend the James Zadroga Act.

This is a national embarrassment.

“ZADROGA ACT THAT HELPS 9/11 ATTACK VICTIMS AND FIRST RESPONDERS NOT EXTENDED BY CONGRESS,” Eyewitness News, ABC7NY:

http://abc7ny.com/news/zadroga-act-that-helps-9-11-attack-victims-and-first-responders-not-extended/1010460/

“Christian’s Combat With Apollyon,” from John Bunyan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress,” circa 1850

Illustrations by H. C. Selous and M. Paolo Priolo.

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“This is a Poem for the Monster Girls,” by Meg Haney

I shared this popular poem a couple of days ago when I found it on Facebook, as I have several female friends who it fits to a tee. Author Meg Haney was kind enough to permit me to copy it and run it here.

“This is a Poem for the Monster Girls”

by Meg Haney

This is a poem for the monster girls
The ones who have no stars in their skin
Only fire and iron and rhinoceros hides
For the ones who have walked fire alone
Into those dark forests and shouting storms
On those deep dark and endless nights
This is a poem for those who didn’t emerge
With that crown of gold or prince charming
No Disney choruses or extended dance numbers
The ones who stayed in the wild strengthening their soul
and forging their hearts to a brand new and different sheen
for the ones who didn’t remain in their beds
pulling the covers overhead hoping for rescue
but Stood facing the monsters and storms
they walked the fire and faced the dragons
and often made peace with those that lived inside
Those who struck at the fiends at the gate
The invading forces and the wicked pain
whipping with wild blows, shouting their own storm
This is for the not Princesses, the unroyal and deposed
For the wild warriors and mythic goddesses
Those who will never stoop to be a simple queen
Never don an insipid crown or sit on a cushioned throne
This is for those who know that this story is for you to write
You and you alone this is for you to craft as a tale of hero or woe
This is for those who have learned to breathe fire
letting it shine through their scars and light the way for others.
Stop waiting for Prince Charming…
Get up and go, find him, the poor fool may be in need of a good rescue
Heck he could be stuck in a tree or something

(c) Meg Haney 2014

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I NEED TO ADOPT THIS “PINE MARTEN” AS A PET.

So I’m working on a poem, and I need to ascertain that the martin and the raven are indeed two different species of birds.

Google shows me this.  Holy crap, do I ever need this animal as a pet.

Evidently, this animal is called a “pine marten?”  So some mammals are also “martens” with an “e?”

Whatever.  As a guy who just doesn’t get sports, the agent provocateur here is far more entertaining than the actual game.

“Pine marten” is a pretty name.  But I think proper adherence to scientific nomenclature better suggests “funnier wolverine” or “disruptive weasel” or even just “AWESOME BASTARD.”

Weird world: I had no idea that a “rook” was a crow until I read “Wizard and Glass.”  (Cuthbert Allgood wears a “rook’s skull” as a pendant, as a gag.)  You can learn a lot from Stephen King.

Nurse Your Favorite Heresies in Whispers