Tag Archives: 2015

A quick review of “The Green Inferno” (2015)

There is one special effects sequence in Eli Roth’s “The Green Inferno” (2015) that is technically very well done.  I won’t describe it, for fear of spoilers here, but if you know that Greg Nicotero was in charge of effects for this movie, and you know the TV show with which he’s associated, then you have a pretty good idea of what this sequence entails.  (Hint: it’s “The Walking Dead.”)

This movie also makes excellent use of its Peruvian location, and the real tribe employed as extras.

Beyond those two things … this really is a rather mediocre horror-thriller, folks.  It’s nothing to write home about.  In fact, it seems amateurishly made on a few levels, especially considering the creative talent Roth exhibited with films like “Hostel” (2005), “Hostel 2” (2007) and “Cabin Fever” (2002).

This movie held my attention, and it does serve up a disturbing horror film that’s weird and different — which is what I think Roth is known for.  But, regrettably, it just wasn’t especially well scripted, performed or directed.  I’d give it a 4 out of 10.

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Check out Aca-toberfest in Arlington tomorrow night!

Now this looks like a heck of a lot of fun for an Autumn evening — my Mary Washington College Alumna Barbara Pando-Behnke will be performing with Supreme Chord at Aca-toberfest tomorrow night, October 17th, at 7:30 PM at Arlington Temple.

Here are the details:

“ACA-TOBERFEST will be an amazing night of music featuring the debut concert for DC-based co-ed a cappella group Supreme Chord, and will include an additional headlining performance by Boston’s a cappella sensation, Ball in the House.

“The concert will be held at Arlington Temple (1835 N. Nash Street, Arlington, VA), just steps from the Rosslyn Metro Station. Tickets are $17 in advance, and $20 at the door.

“Learn more about both groups at:

www.supremechordsings.com
www.ballinthehouse.com

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Have “gazongas” and “sweater kittens” escaped the modern parlance?!

Oh, well.  Orwell’s “1984” did observe that “it was a beautiful thing, the destruction of language.”

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  The National Breast Cancer Foundation has two lists of healthcare providers who offer free or low-cost breast cancer screenings.  One is for their partners:

http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/national-mammography-program

And one is for other national or local referral services or programs:

http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/about-breast-cancer/early-detection/early-detection-resources

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A quick pan of “Minority Report’s” pilot episode (2015)

The first episode of television’s “Minority Report” (2015) has all the bells and whistles of its 2002 cinematic source material, but little of its skilled storytelling.  I’d rate it a 6 out of 10, and that probably reflects my positive bias connected with my love for the classic film.

The show looks great — the special effects are well thought out, well rendered, and in abundance.  Visually and in terms of its fictional technology, this is terrific way to revisit the future that was painstakingly envisioned for the fantastic movie.  The show is an earnest follow-up, too; you can tell that the writers respect the film and were reaching for its unique vibe and its fast-paced suspense.

Regrettably, the pilot here just doesn’t suggest that this will be an unusually good show.  The writing and directing are average, at best, and some of the acting is downright poor.  A hastily conceived plot features one of the movie’s plot-driving psychic “precogs” rushing to intervene in future murders, which he can still predict, like some kind of lone, nonviolent, pre-emptive vigilante.  A cheesy covert partnership develops between him and a tough-and-sassy-but-sexy, single, female cop.  And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  Cue the bad dialogue.  I honestly think my friends and I could have come up with something better than that.

Oh well.  It can’t all be “A” material.  At least, that’s what I’ve been telling people who bitch about my jokes on Facebook.  And this was just the pilot — maybe the show will get better.

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Halloween is coming!!!

The holiday arrives in a scant three weeks.  I’ll be populating the blogosphere here and there with a few monsters.  I hope you don’t mind.

From Wikimedia Commons:  [“Julie Adams, famously pursued in the 1954 horror classic, “Creature from the Black Lagoon,” portrayed an FDA chemist who helped break up a trucking industry amphetamine ring in “330 Independence S. W.,” a 1962 episode of NBC’s Dick Powell Show.”]

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Photo credit: By The U.S. Food and Drug Administration [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

A short review of “The Gift” (2015)

I guess the formula for “The Gift” (2015) is pretty simple — hand a superb script to three superb actors.  Here, they are Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall and Joel Edgerton, and the dark drama they bring to life is driven by dialogue and unexpected character development, instead of jump scares and dark hallways and other conventional thriller conventions.  (Edgerton, who I last saw as a boilerplate good guy in 2011’s “The Thing” prequel, is also the director here.)  The three actors are magic together.  I became uncomfortable (as was the filmmaker’s intention) even during the first apparently innocuous conversation when the three interact for the first time at a chance meeting in a department store.

In fact, I’m not sure that “The  Gift”  is even a thriller instead of a particularly disturbing drama.  Like other viewers, I’d suggest that what filmgoers see is not what the movie’s trailer suggests.  This is yet another film that reviewers can’t describe in detail for fear of spoilers.

I’d give this a 9 out of 10.  My only criticisms are very mild.  I think Bateman underplayed the distress his character ought to have felt in the last 10 minutes or so.  Also, I found myself wanting more closure and less ambiguity in the ending, as well more of a standard climax.   But that probably just reflects my expectations as a traditional horror-thriller fan, and not any real failings of the movie.

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The “Sherlock” holiday special trailer is here!!

It’s brief, but it makes the program look damn good!!

Will this period story be an alternate interpretation of the character by Benedict Cumberbatch?  The little dialogue we hear from the detective sounds a bit more poetic and introspective than the snide analyst we’ve seen in the show’s modern incarnation.

“We all have a past, Watson.  Ghosts — they’re the shadows that define our every sunny day.”

Could this be a take on the character that’s closer to other film versions?

Who was your favorite teacher? (Today is World Teachers’ Day.)

It’s World Teacher’s Day.  Or it was, until the clock struck midnight more than an hour ago.  It is sadly ironic that I am late for this, as I was so often late to class.

If you can, please pass this along to give a little recognition to someone in a uniquely demanding profession.

My single favorite teacher in New York’s Longwood Central School District is a little tough to choose.  I believe it would be a tie between two men.

The first was Mr. Greiner, who taught sixth grade at Ridge Elementary School.  He reined in a very strange, hyperactive boy long enough to actually write down his bizarre monster stories — and to do so legibly.  He could be firm, but also kind.  And the encouragement he offered was priceless.  I wrote my first presentable short story in his class, entitled “When A Bear Growls.”  It was about famous hunter Hank Brown’s deadly battle with a legendary grizzly, and it had enough blood and guts in it (and a shotgun!) to please and surprise my classmates.  They ate it up!  It was the first time in my life I’d ever felt “popular” at school, and it reinforced my love of writing.

The second was Mr. Anderson, who taught AP English to 12th graders at Longwood High School.  I remember him as a soft-spoken man, and I believe that he was simply so articulate that he just never needed to raise his voice in order to get his point across.  He had a visible, genuine love of literature that was contagious.  He knew how to push his students enough to prepare them well for college’s vastly greater demands.  But he was also sublimely easygoing and relatable.  So you could confide in him, for example, that you thought that William Faulkner really sucked.

I hope that both Mr. Greiner and Mr. Anderson are now very happy in retirement, and know that their students still hold them in the highest esteem.

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A review of “Fear the Walking Dead,” Season 1 (2015)

I know that love for “Fear the Walking Dead” (2015) is not universal, but I needed to pipe in at least once to say that I thought that “Season 1” was terrific.  (I feel funny calling six episodes a “season,” but I’ve heard that de facto miniseries like this are a new trend in television.)  I’d give this apocalypse story a 9 out of 10.

For me, “Fear the Walking Dead” satisfied a longstanding itch.  If you grow up a fan of post-apocalyptic horror, you are constantly exposed to the aftermath of the end of the world.  In the vast majority of films and fiction, horror fans are treated to flashbacks, at best, of how it all went down.  Here we (partly, at least) get to see it all go down.

I’ll bet that stories so expansive in scope are a little harder to conceive and write convincingly.  Very few writers of prose or screenplays have expertise in disaster management, disease control, mass psychology or homeland security.  How much easier is it to have protagonists roam a landscape of burned out buildings, with only graffiti, snippets of conversation, and occasionally a blown newspaper offering hints of exactly how the end came about?

“Fear” deserves a hell of a lot of credit just for trying (as does “The Strain” over at FX).  It’s also why the globally plotted “Contagion” (2011) was such a frighteningly interesting thriller, and why Max Brooks’ stage-by-stage zombie pandemic easily made “World War Z” the greatest zombie novel ever written.  Through the eyes of an average family, “Fear” at least tries to show us meaningful glimpses into how police, emergency and military authorities would react.  The result is some interesting stories.  A nerdy high school student is the first to prepare, for example, due to his attention to the Internet’s alternative media.  And a doomed compact between a civilian neighborhood and their putative military protectors concludes in a particularly horrifying way.

Soooooo many viewers complained that there were “no zombies.”  Well, there were always a couple, at least — we got a great one in the first episode’s earliest minutes.  But that wasn’t the point.  The creators of “Fear” told us that this would be a different type of show, with a “slow burn” -type horror.  For me, that worked.  Look at it this way — we routinely see “zombie swarms” over at that other show (what was its name again?).  We’ve been seeing them for five whole seasons — the first repelled Rick Grimes’ ill advised solitary horseback exploration of Atlanta.  That’s fun for a zombie horror fan, but it’s nothing new.

“Fear” offers us something much different — a kind of “creeping horror.”  This seemed like the “Psycho” (1960) of onscreen zombie tales.  No, we don’t see zombies everywhere, but watching even one episode of “The Walking Dead” (2010) lets us know that these lackadaisical everyday people are in for a hell of a ride.  We, the viewers, know what they do not.  That’s what our high school English teachers taught us was “dramatic irony,” and it makes this a nice little companion show to “The Walking Dead.”  In fact, ALL the characters we see are probably doomed to die, given what we know of the statistics established by “The Walking Dead.”  That’s pretty dark stuff.

Other viewers complained about the characters being boring or unlikable.  I do get that.  Nobody here, I think, will ever gain the same viewer loyalty as Rick, Michonne or Daryl Dixon.  (If it were put to a vote among the women of the world, I’m pretty sure they’d rename “The Walking Dead” as “The Norman Reedus Show.”)  But “Fear’s” average (and, yes, sometimes boring) people seemed far more “real” to me — I think they functioned better as viewer surrogates, and better allowed me to imagine how I might react in a world like this.  I almost started viewing this as an end-of-the-world docudrama in the same manner as the BBC’s little known “End Day” (2005).

Besides, two characters in particular do show great promise.  I just can’t say who or why without spoiling that they survived.  Yet another character who appears suicidal in the final episode is one that I thought was pretty interesting, and we do not actually see this person’s death.

Sure, I had my own quibbles.  Los Angeles is remarkably empty for a city of nearly 4 million people.  I’m inclined to think that, even after an unlikely evacuation attempt, it would still be swamped either with people who still needed help, or with zombies.

Also … the sparse information we’re given about the zombie phenomenon here seems disappointingly contradictory.  We’ve established that a universal, invisible illness means people will return into undeath, regardless of how they died.  But we also see a flu-like illness affect some people (who are doomed to die shortly thereafter), but not all people.  Are these two different manifestations of the same disease?  Is it even technically a contagion, or is it an environmental illness?  (I know my questions here are absurdly silly, but this is precisely the sort of thing that horror nerds argue about over at the Internet Movie Database.)

Oh, well.  My recommendation here is to give this a chance, with the caveat that it definitely isn’t “The Walking Dead.”  It’s damn good.

Oh!  One more thing!  Keep an eye out for occasional homages to “28 Days Later” (2002).  And watch closely — one such plot arc is devilishly turned on its head in a subtle thematic twist.

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A review of “Parallels” (2015)

First, a clarification — “Parallels” (2015) is absolutely not a feature film; it’s an undisguised attempt at a pilot for an ongoing web-based series.  I think it’s pretty cruddy of Netflix to market it as a standalone film, as viewers expecting a conclusive story will doubtless be disappointed.  Its parallel universe-hopping premise also seems so similar to “Sliders” (1995-1999) that it just might approach the boundary between inspiration and ripoff.

With that said, however … dear LORD!!!  “Parallels” was frikkin’ FANTASTIC.  What we’ve got here is a far edgier, grownup version of “Sliders,” with a first episode introducing the same type of show-spanning mysteries as “Lost.”  But where “Sliders” was milquetoast primetime family fare, this looks like an excellent serialized thriller with plenty of pathos.

What a shame this thoughtful series never reached fruition.  I was hooked.  It’s smartly written by Christopher Leone; he’s visibly well acquainted with string theory, and has a hell of a lot of clever fun with it.  “Parallels” is a face-paced 80 minutes that follows a tragic, dysfunctional modern family embroiled in the mystery of the plot-driving “Building.”  The Building appears to be the nexus of countless parallel universes, a bit like the “The Dark Tower” links them in Stephen King’s multiverse.  The cast is uniformly good; the standouts were Eric Jungmann as the comic relief and Michael Monks as an understated but terrific bad guy.

I had only a few tiny quibbles.  Some of the family melodrama and the mysteries were a little forced and heavy-handed.  The ending (?) here, while really intriguing, also borrows a page or two from “Cube” (1997) and one particularly good episode of Ron Moore’s “Battlestar Galactica” (2004-2009).

I’m not sure how to rate this.  It fails as a standalone film, I think, because it simply doesn’t have an ending.  I suppose I’d give it … a 4 out of 10?  If you can forgive that fatal flaw, however, and want to enjoy some top-shelf science fiction, then I’d easily give it a 9 out of 10.

Dammit.  Why wasn’t this show made?

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