Goddam communist vegetable.  I didn’t want you for dinner anyway.

Or, more properly, f*** whoever wrote these stupid instructions on the back of the package.  A half a cup of water will obviously NOT suffice to cook half a giganto-sized package of frozen broccoli.  And I didn’t read it wrong!  I’m wearing my glasses!

This maddening confusion does not accompany cheeseburgers!  And I always know the recipe is right because I have my own recipes!!!

[Update — hold up!  Turns out I was entirely too hasty in my judgement of this broccoli!  A half a cup of water is indeed enough, given how it … seeps upward in the pot.  (Steams?)  I dunno, it’s kitchen physics.  And I’m not really an expert on kitchen stuff.]