Accident Allison, what the heck?!
Again you nearly broke your neck?!
Looking for your wayward cat,
did you trip and then fall flat?

Accident Allison, what the hell?!
Your puppy pulled and then you fell?
Did you bonk your pretty noodle
chasing after Ulley Poodle?

Accident Allison, Jeezum Crow!
Did you stub your middle toe?
Did it meet the metal rake
while you raced a garden snake?

Accident Allison, what’s the news?
Is your bottom slightly bruised?
Did you fall backwards on your tush
while charming frogs beneath a bush?

Accident Allison, Holy Smoke!!
Your back-left foot is nearly broke?!
Was your latest peccadillo
dancing with an armadillo?

You’ll never be a train conductor,
ballet coach or ski instructor.
Such dreams are best subordinated —
you’re too uncoordinated.

Your fortunes are deplorable
but charms are unignorable:
ingenious, wise and beautiful,
good-natured and adorable!

Illustration by artist Hugo von Hofsten from Dogs and Puppies, Barse & Hopkins, 1908.