Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

“Phoenix Forgotten” (2017) is a found-footage horror film that didn’t pan out.

“Phoenix Forgotten” (2017) has a couple of things going for it.  The first is its use of real events as the MacGuffin for its found-footage horror story — the 1997 mass UFO sighting in Arizona known as “The Phoenix Lights.”  The second is the young Chelsea Lopez in a lead role.  She appears to be a gifted young actress, and she’s … astonishingly good here.  (The script, too, does succeed in painting her adolescent protagonist as likable and identifiable.)

Those two things, however, do not save “Phoenix Forgotten” from being a mediocre movie.  It’s sometimes slow and occasionally even boring, despite the fact that it picks up quite a bit in its closing minutes.

It also feels far too much like a beat-for-beat remake of 1999’s “The Blair Witch Project.”  Yes, it’s a different sub-genre, with a science fiction plot device instead of a supernatural threat, and a desert setting instead of the Maryland forest.  But its story, its conclusion and even its closing shots parallel that superior film very closely.

I’d rate this a 4 out f 10.

 

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Throwback Thursday: skipping church!

Here’s a vivid summer memory — and it comes to me courtesy of my dear old friend Sarah in New York, who posted this picture on Facebook not too long ago.  Below is the very beach on Long Island where my older brother and I would park in the early 1980’s when we were supposed to be at church on Sunday morning.

We would eat Entenmann’s donuts and we would listen to WBLI on the radio.  (If you are from Suffolk County, you can’t not hear the chipper WBLI jingle every time you read those four letters.)  If memory serves, the station played Casey Kasem’s countdown on Sunday mornings.

I was pretty young, and I was awed that my brother deemed me cool enough and trustworthy enough to conspire with him in playing hooky from the service.  I was fully complicit, too.  It was my job to run in and out of the church quickly before the service started, in order to grab the Sunday bulletin, with which my mother had instructed us to return every week.

The first time I colluded with my brother this way, I overdid it a little.  Upon our return and gave my mom a lot of unrequested detail about the priest’s sermon, and what it had meant to be.  My brother later pulled me aside in the room we shared, and gave me some sage coaching: “You don’t need to make up a whole big story.”  That was the first time in my life that I learned not to over-embellish a lie.

You see that?  You can learn a lot from a religious upbringing.

 

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I wear my sunglasses at night.

I might have gotten ripped off.  These are … “ECLIPSE VIEWING GLASSES,” but it was only after I paid three dollars for them at 7-11 that I realized I have no detailed understanding of why I might need them, or how much (necessary?) protection they might offer.

The packaging instructs me to “WATCH THE SOLAR ECLIPSE.”  But … you could also call them “bird-watching glasses” and it wouldn’t technically be false advertising, right?

If anyone can advise me on how best to photograph the August 21st eclipse, I’d be grateful.  I have a digital camera and a cell phone.  I tried to photograph the last full moon (I wanted a pic to accompany my “Roanoke Summer Midnight” poem), but they absolutely did not turn out.  The only result was that now my neighbors think I’m nuts for taking pictures outside at 1 a.m.

[UPDATE 8/4/17: Okay, as it turns out, eclipse-viewing glasses are serious business.  If you don’t use properly manufactured glasses, you can seriously damage your retinas, or even blind yourself.  What’s more, I’ve read online that there are particularly horrible people who have been selling glasses that are not safe to use?  Let’s hope that’s just an unconfirmed rumor.

A pal of mine sent me this link.  (The glasses I bought below actually do meet the right regulatory standards.)

Reputable Vendors of Solar Filters & Viewers]

 

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“You call her Doctor JONES, Doll!”

God damn, Netflix’ “Jessica Jones” (2015) looks like a great show.  I finally got around to watching the complete pilot episode, due to my interest in the upcoming “The Defenders,” which features the character.  And “Jessica Jones” was frikkin’ terrific.  I’d rate the first episode a 9 out of 10.

At first, there were aspects of the pilot that annoyed me.  We’re told virtually nothing about the origin of the title character’s superpowers, and not much about the powers themselves.  They’re also a fairly generic power set, as far as I can tell.  She has enhanced strength and agility and … that’s it?  So she’s a low-grade Superman or Spider-Man, more or less?  We also learn somewhat little about what looks to be the series, antagonist, Kilgrave, played by David Tennant.  We see Kilgrave only briefly, in flashbacks that seem reminiscent of post-traumatic stress disorder.  (These are sometimes weirdly delivered, for a show that is otherwise well directed.)  He has mind-control abilities that resemble the “push” ability seen in Stephen King’s “Firestarter,” as well as my favorite short story of all time, “Everything’s Eventual.”

But … hell, this was just an extremely good show.  For starters, Krysten Ritter is perfect as the wisecracking anti-heroine.  She’s funny; she’s got great, dry line delivery; and she’s a decent actress.  (I know that the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s more powerful heroes rarely visit Hell’s Kitchen, but I’d love to see her trade quips one day with Tony Stark.  She couldn’t beat him, but she’d come closer than anyone else.)

The script is good enough to make her a likable character, and the story itself is scary and compelling.  Considering the plot-driving capability of the show’s villain this … looks like it could become a King-style horror thriller.  Between this show and “Daredevil’s” bloody second season (2016), I’m starting to understand that Hell’s Kitchen might be the MCU’s stage for more horror-type stories.  And I’m fine with that.

 

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The buzz around Roanoke.

This is a terrible picture, but … you see those tall, dark shapes ascending from the high, bare branches like grotesque, upright fruit?  Those would be buzzards.

Or … turkey vultures.  To be honest, I don’t know if there is any difference between turkey vultures and buzzards.  I’m from New York.

 

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Hare Club for Men?

I can’t imagine what sort of image I am projecting by endlessly posting pictures of bunnies on my blog.  Yet here we are again.

This little guy wanted badly to play tag today.  He kept hugging the path late today where I usually pass him, and once unexpectedly darted so close to my ankles that I almost fell over.

I doubt such playfulness is typically smiled upon by natural selection, but whatever.

 

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A short review of “It Stains the Sands Red” (2017)

“It Stains the Sands Red” (2017) is a pretty decent zombie film; I’d rate it an 8 out of 10.

The fun starts with a truly impressive aerial shot of Las Vegas in the midst of a full blown zombie apocalypse — it’s great special effects work, and it’s almost enough to compensate entirely for the limited scope of the story that follows it.  (This film focuses largely on one stranded woman being pursued by one zombie antagonist through the Nevada desert.)

Although much of the film might be too slow for some horror fans, it’s actually surprisingly intelligent.  The movie focuses on things often neglected in survival horror scenarios like this one — factors like exhaustion, the elements, firearms proficiency, the availability of basic utilities and even the availability of addictive drugs.  There’s more to admire too — there’s a plot twist late in the game that I thought was skillfully executed.  (I won’t spoil it here.)  Finally, our ostensibly addle-brained anti-heroine does a couple of things that I never would have thought of in order to survive.

It also boasts an incongruously beautiful setting.  (This was shot in Nevada’s “Valley of Fire.”)

“It Stains the Sands Red” isn’t perfect.  There are a couple of stupid parts, particularly near the end of the story.  (Were these otherwise talented screenwriters just running out of steam?)  And there is one surprise plot development that will be sure to have some genre fans rolling their eyes and groaning.

Also, the makeup effects for the monster were good enough, but not stellar.  (Like many longtime fans of zombie horror, I think I’ve been spoiled by the genius of Greg Nicotero and Tom Savini.)

I ‘d still name this as a good movie, however, and I’d recommend it.

 

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A short review of “War for the Planet of the Apes” (2017)

Like the two films preceding it, “War for the Planet of the Apes” (2017) is an intelligent, well rounded science fiction thriller.  The newest “Apes” series has been leagues ahead of the campy late-1960’s original films, and of course Tim Burton’s bizarre 2001 remake.

There is more going on here than a simple “apes vs. humans” tale.  Nor does it engage in simplistic moralizing, in which the innocent animals must escape from their human oppressors.  There’s a hell of a lot of moral complexity — something noted by the many positive reviews for the film.  One of the things that I liked the most was a compelling new surprise plot element, even though it approaches deus ex machina territory.  I won’t spoil it here, but it’s bleak, it’s frightening, and it makes you think.  Given the new information one character explains to another … it’s hard to say who is the bad guy, isn’t it?  How this plot element plays out is damned effective too.

This movie also superbly renders non-human characters — both in terms of its smart script and its special effects (a combination of both CGI and human actors).  I was greatly impressed at the detailed and lifelike facial expressions.

The action sequences were well executed, too, and the film had an epic feel.  (Although this would be a decent conclusion to a trilogy, filmmakers Matt Reeves and Martin Bomback have gone on record stating they wouldn’t be averse to future sequels.)

Still, I must confess that my attention sometimes wandered.  I think the pacing was a bit off.  It also didn’t help much that the conclusion of the final action set piece was spoiled by one of the film’s trailers.  (What the hell were they thinking?  Who makes these decisions?  Was there any backlash from fans who didn’t want advance knowledge of the film’s ending?)

Although this was an exceptionally well developed film, I just can’t give an unusually high rating to a movie that didn’t always hold my interest.  I believe, therefore, that I’d rate this an 8 out of 10.

 

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I found these near a stream.

They’re some kind of wetlands vegetation, obviously.  They remind me a little of the “cat tails” that grew in a marshy section of the woods near my childhood home.  (Bizarrely enough, that was in central Long Island, where you kinda don’t expect to find wetlands.)

The stream below these stalked sentinels was teeming with quick minnows today, along with metallic blue dragonflies above them.  I wanted to explore it pretty badly, but the vegetation is so thick that it’s waist-high.  I was issued some pretty dire warnings upon my arrival in Virginia about poisonous snakes, especially near the water, and I take those warnings pretty seriously.

 

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Homeland Insecurity.

I was never anything resembling Eagle Scout material.  But I was a Cub Scout since I was old enough, and I was a Boy Scout for a year.

I never heard an adult connected with the organization even mention politics once.

I just can’t believe the extent to which Trump seems to constantly betray his own insecurities. Everything he says seems intended to show us that he is somehow better than Obama or Hillary. He’s like a child who repeatedly proclaims that he is smarter or tougher than the next kid. If Trump has so much confidence in his superiority, then why should he feel the need to endlessly remind the rest of us?

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but maybe needful competition is even more sincere.