Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

A short review of “Mr. Jones” (2013)

Right up until its final act, “Mr. Jones” (2013) amazed me by how good it was.  Here was a creative, thoughtful and extremely frightening found-footage horror movie.  It was so damned good that I was surprised that I hadn’t heard about it before.

The story idea was fresh and interesting — a young couple moves to an isolated forest cabin, only to discover that a mysterious neighbor is “Mr. Jones,” a legendary anonymous folk artist.  This hermit produces grotesque artworks — “scarecrows,” totems and dreamcatchers that he then mails to apparently random recipients around the world.  Not all of them are pleased with their macabre gifts, and their benefactor’s identity and motivations become the stuff of urban legends.  (Try to imagine H.R. Giger with a modus operandi like Banksy.)  There is a lot more going on here than a cliche yarn about a supernatural bogeyman.

The script is smart, the story is well developed, and the tension builds slowly and effectively as the tale unfolds for our two protagonists.  My only quibble is that the couple does incredibly stupid things, and are cheerfully curious about discoveries that should scare the hell out of them.  But that is a failing of so many horror films that I decided not to let it bother me.

Then the movie loses its way.  I’m disappointed to share here that this otherwise great film suffers because of its disjointed, meandering and consequently frustrating climax.  It’s too long, it’s too confusing, and it spends far too much time repeating redundant shots and scare-moments.

We see one character, for example, pursued by multiple adversaries … repeatedly.  Well, these adversaries stop being scary when the viewer eventually arrives at the conclusion that either A.)  they can’t catch this person or B.)  they can’t hurt this person.

At another point, a character must do something urgent, but receives contradictory instructions from different sources.  This plot development could have been damned unnerving in the context of our story, but it’s nearly lost in a confusing barrage of repetitive images and sounds.  Writer-director Karl Mueller strives to immerse the viewer in a kind of surreal “nightmare.”  But he makes a mistake that is common for surreal horror films — portraying confused and disoriented characters does not always require the viewer to be confused and disoriented.  A shorter, sparser, cleaner script would have saved what might have been a classic.

Oh, well.  This movie was still fun enough.  Again … much of it is quite excellent.  And another viewer might not be as turned off by its conclusion as I was.  I still recommend “Mr. Jones,” if a little reluctantly.  I’d rate it a 7 out of 10.

 

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“PEOMS: The Poetry of Dyslexia”

Coming soon from Eric Robert Nolan.

Advance copies available via proerder at Amazoc.nom.

 

 

Bee there or bee square.

There’s been some truly terrific new poetry published over at The Bees Are Dead; please stop by to enjoy a few dark or dystopian visions in verse.

The site is hosting both Paul Brookes’ “Telehaptic Love” and Wayne F. Burke’s “Bomber.”

You can also find what is a first for B.A.D. — Alastair Gambling’s “tone-poem,” entitled “A Certain Period.”  From the B.A.D. Facebook page: “Gambling is a musician/music teacher by trade and this composition is a feat of technical brilliance. Experimenting with minimalism, unconventional time-signatures and discordant harmonies, ‘A Certain Period’ builds-up gradually creating a wonderfully evocative soundscape of paranoia and timelessness with an appropriately sci-fi aesthetic – very dystopian!”

 

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Photo: Taken from British Bee Journal & Bee-Keepers Adviser, 1873.  By Internet Archive Book Images [No restrictions], via Wikimedia Commons.

Illustration of a hydra, from Conrad Gessner’s “Historia Animalium,” circa 1551

From Wikipedia: “Gessner was a medical doctor and professor at the Carolinum in Zürich, the precursor of the University of Zurich.  The “Historia Animalium” is the first modern zoological work that attempts to describe all the animals known, and the first bibliography of natural history writings.  The five volumes of natural history of animals cover more than 4500 pages …

“There was extreme religious tension at the time Historia Animalium came out.  Under Pope Paul IV it was felt that the religious convictions of an author contaminated all his writings, and as Gessner was a Protestant, it was added to the Catholic Church’s list of prohibited books.”

 

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A short review of “The Human Race” (2013)

“The Human Race” (2013) isn’t really the under-recognized gem that I was led to believe it was — it’s actually mediocre in some ways.  The dialogue is downright bad, the acting is mostly below average, and the limited special effects budget definitely shows.

It … still held my attention, though, thanks to a devilish story concept and some brutal plot turns.  (Eighty diverse strangers are mysteriously transported to an isolated location, where powerful unseen entities force them to eliminate one another in a “race” to the death.)  I do realize that there have been a spate of low-budget, “Saw”-inspired movies like this, and that this kind of story device should be familiar to horror movie fans by now.

But there is some pathologically wicked story development here — consider, for example, that contenders include an elderly man, a pregnant woman and a veteran who has had a leg amputated.  And while several contenders make heroic choices, several others take a sociopathic glee in eliminating their opponents.  Writer-director Paul Hough might be terrible at writing dialogue, but he does know how to craft a surreal horror story with some horrific and unexpected turns.  (Yeesh.)

There is also a standout performance by Trista Robinson as a secondary character.  (She is the more tenacious half of a deaf couple who are teleported and forced to compete.)  In a film with little admirable acting, she still plays her role with skill and intensity.  This is a talented actress.

All in all, this is a flawed low-budget film that is still decent fare for a horror fan.  I’d rate it a 7 out of 10.

 

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(I am actually embarrassed FOR them.)

Justin Trudeau forgets to mention Alberta in his Canada Day speech?

I pity Canadians. I can’t imagine what its like to have a head of state who publicly embarrasses an entire country like that.

You know what he should do if the Canucks keep grumbling?  Just GRAB Alberta by the Canada Day speech.

 

 

Roanoke, Virginia, June 2017

If you look closely at the third photo, you can see a helicopter beginning an ascent from the top of Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital.  Evidently, the facility’s landing pad is at the top of its cylindrical section.  It kept landing and returning the day I took this photo; I’m guessing that a pilot was either training or practicing.

 

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You’re going to fawn over these pictures I just took.

Or maybe not.  They’re a good deal blurrier than I’d hoped.

I encountered this lost little lady about an hour ago.  She was between a rock and a hard place — the fence and the adjacent road.

I did the best that I could to help her.  (Hey, if there is a human who knows what it’s like to be lost and confused in Roanoke, it’s me.)

But my assistance didn’t amount to much.  The best I could do was wave at oncoming cars and point out the deer to them.  (She kept wandering into the road in desperation.  At one point an SUV almost hit her … she collapsed and clattered to the street in fear, and, trust me, that is one heartbreaking sound).  I’m not sure what more I could have done; I’m no Deer Whisperer.

Anyway, a pair of pretty girls showed up in a jeep and cheerfully assured me that they would take it from here.  They sounded pretty confident, and they seemed like Roanoke natives who were well-versed in country ways.  (They had a jeep.)

Either the fawn is now fine, or someone’s serving venison extra tender tonight.

 

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A few quick words on “47 Meters Down” (2017)

Yes, “47 Meters Down” is silly in places, and I don’t think it will ever be held up as an example to students of good screenwriting.  But I can’t slam any horror-thriller that scared and entertained me.  And the sharks here (which were surprisingly well rendered by CGI) made me jump a few times.  Furthermore, there are a couple of surprises late in the story, and I thought that one of them was wonderfully well executed.

This movie actually reminds me a little of last year’s “The Shallows.”  Neither movie is 1975’s “Jaws,” but neither pretends to be.  They’re both perfectly serviceable monster movies that present horror movie fans with a great way to kick off the summer.

I’d rate this film an 8 out of 10 for being a fun, if forgettable, shark flick.

 

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“We’re Gonna Rock Down To … Electric ROAD?!?!”

Somewhere, Eddy Grant is crying right now.

I expected better of you, Roanoke.

 

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