right I probably shouldn’t even be allowed near a stove
because consequences
Update — since concerned people are querying me, please let me assure you that everything is okay. Some steam was mean to me, but I am fine.
Stupid stove. Stupid pasta. Stupid laws of thermophysics.
I almost said “Sorry for the funky music,” but they keep saying “Play that” and I am indeed a white boy.
I actually wanted to remove audio entirely from this video, but I can’t figure out how to do that with Youtube. (Damn it, Jim. I’m a poet, not a video editor.)
Snacks + accident = snacksident.
Why did I inhale those peanut butter M&M’s? It was a SNACKSIDENT.
Photo credit: Famartin, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
Today’s portmanteau:
Slacker + academic = Slackademic.
Nolan needs Dairy Queen.
Don’t make fun and don’t be mean.
I really need to make the scene
Near that fabulous shake machine.
Photo credit: Mbrickn, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
Nobody tell her that I am just sitting here stuffing my face and watching “The Zombie Diaries” (2006). (It’s been a long day, people.)
My online friends dared me to make memes about them. I think these are pretty inspired for the speedy turnaround time …
Oh, HOW might I go about monetizing my brilliance?
My college buddy Charlene:
My friend Joan:
Awesome horror author Wednesday Lee Friday:
My college buddy Frank:
I wonder if I can convert my daylight savings to a daylight checking account.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 