Tag Archives: humor

Come on, Baby, light my fire.

A woman I know is into Wicca (or Druidism, possibly?). I don’t know. She needed a lighter for a candle-light … thing, I dunno. Maybe it’s the Equinox again. Girls like her have an Equinox they can invoke anytime they feel like getting witchy. Last year, there were like seven of them.

Anyway, she asked me to pick her up a lighter. I stopped off at a service station before I met up with her.

This is the lighter the dude behind the counter handed me. I did not request it. Nor did I notice the artwork until I handed it to my friend for her ritual. It was awkward, is all I’m saying.

There were plenty of regular, plain lighters behind the counter! Why did he hand me this one?!



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Throwback Thursday: High School Politician Nolan!

This is from 1988 — it was my speech when I ran for president of the International Student Organization at Longwood High School.

I even had buttons made up.  I was quite the extrovert back in those days (and a nerd too, in case you hadn’t noticed).  But I wasn’t exactly Marcus Antonius, even if I wanted to be.

Note the use of a dot matrix printer!  😀



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This is from The New York Post.

The conservative New York Post.

(Pic taken from Facebook.)



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This just turned up in my Twitter feed. Now I feel ANCIENT.

And “primitive.”

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It’s a Terrable mistake.

My buddy Tara had her name misspelled at Starbucks, and now I can never stop thinking of her as Terra of the Teen Titans.

She’s   also    an  editor, so I occasionally add    extra spaces in sentences to    make her nuts.

Sometimes I think it’s challenging for people to be friends with me.



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I admit it. This was a fowl pun.

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Throwback Thursday: My 7th-grade crime story!

“Renaldo!”  I wrote this story in the 7th or 8th grade.  It was my attempt at an organized crime thriller.

The story has everything!!  Ziti!!  Cocaine!!  A main character whose name is “Scab!!”  Famous cops who go by a single name — like Madonna or Prince or something!!  The phrase “genius detective, pride of the police force!!”  Possibly a degree of confusion about when the Great Depression occurred!!  (I chose to set the story in the 1920’s, for some reason, and confusingly stated that “jobs were scarce” at the time.  Hey — I’ve told you people before that I was never the smartest kid in the class.)

Anyway, enjoy (?) this antique Nolan prose.  Thanks once again to Carrie Schor for passing along vintage stuff from the Longwood Central School District in New York.

Postscript: admit it — you saw the headline “7th-grade crime story” and thought this would be about me committing a crime in the 7th grade, didn’t you?  But I gotta find out about a couple of statutes of limitations before I write about those.



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Next year’s hit costume:

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Halloween-themed memes the day after Halloween?

I can’t resist.



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(The deluxe version includes a half dozen unfinished drafts.)

Via the Writers Helping Writers Facebook page.


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