So I washed my comforter and submitted four poems to The Irish Times. It’s a long shot, but hey.
The poems, I mean — not washing the comforter. That I can usually pull off.
Tag Archives: humor
Silkscreen prints from Steve Miller!
These are original silkscreen prints from Steve Miller — not of musical fame, but of Mary Washington College fame. They were given to me by the artist many years ago.
Found ’em in storage. Got ’em up in the Batcave immediately.
I got those photos I ordered.
Here’s the interesting thing … the postal service’s new postmark design looks remarkably like the footprint of a very large man.
Hey, the sticker on the front says “Do not bend” — not “Do not stomp on.”
You know it’s a great April Fool’s day when you successfully persuade someone there’s a bear in your home.
Life is good, and I AM A COMPLETE BASTARD.
I also got a few friends with a story about Gerard Butler shooting a movie in downtown Roanoke. (Though plenty of people clued to the gag pretty quickly too.)
The corona makes me ornery!
I AM YOUR SOUR GRAMPA.
What’s in a name?
Somebody just e-mailed me some coronavirus information, but he told me his source was “Doctor Specious,” and now I’m thinking twice about EVERYTHING this dude has ever said to me.
I didn’t choose the coronavirus life; the coronavirus life chose ME.
Yeah, turns out I was next up on the dance card for this colossal prick of a pathogen. I had a positive reading on an antigen test tonight. (If you haven’t ordered your free tests from the federal government, you should do so. It’s quick and easy.)
Fun fact — did you know that most biologists agree that viruses are not technically “alive?” Sure, they can replicate and adapt to their environment, but they can’t do things like grow, or produce their own energy, or remain internally stable (homeostasis). So they can’t actually pass the basic criteria for what scientists consider “life.”
So, if you think about it, I and my fellow Covid-afflicted Americans are fighting zombies.
Please … do what you can not to catch this and subsequently spread it further. Be a Rick Grimes and not one of The Whisperers.
Today’s agenda — contact my friend in seminary.
Ask him if a Jesus-shaped ice-pop is an example of eisegesis.
I’ll show myself out.
C’mon. This is GOLD. I am CLEVER. (I am indeed tired of explaining to everybody that I am clever.)
Sigh. Mama told me there’d be days like this.
Actually, she didn’t. This f***ed up apocalyptic shit is what I was warned about by “The Stand,” “Planet of the Apes,” George A. Romero and 80’s-era comic books.
Honorable mention goes to the TV adaptation of “The Third Wave.”
You’re all nuts.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 