Are these the coolest Valentines goodies ever?!?!  That is a Himalayan Salt Lamp up top and that’s a big shiny lapel pin on the bottom.  I think the lamp looks like one of the Sankara Stones from “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” (1984).

And I think the anatomically accurate heart looks like one of the metal hearts created by Dr. Jacob Farmer in my horror tale, “At the End of the World, My Daughter Wept Metal.”  My Valentine didn’t even mean it that way — she just thought the pin was funny … which just kinda makes it awesomely, ominously meta.

Now whoever sees me in my overcoat is forewarned that my hubris will destroy the world.  (Clock’s ticking, people.)