Tag Archives: humor

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I discovered sometwin.

Guys, I just discovered that I have an identical twin in Prague! Seriously! I double-Czeched!

Why don’t you people appreciate these jokes? SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS YOUR PRAGUELEM?



Introvert here.

I know we’re all experiencing sadness, frustration, and anger due to the pandemic’s restrictions on human contact, but you know what could be a lot worse?

Human contact.



 

(And the bigliest.)

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(Sea what I did there?)

I got a new blanky for Christmas!

No, I am not actually going punk.

It’s a joke. As I’ve explained here before, I messed up giving myself a haircut. Then I realized that shaving most of it off was really my only recourse if I wanted to look vaguely normal. But I left it in a mohawk as a joke. The temporary hair dye and the earring are gags too.

I’d like to think that I didn’t do too bad of a job with the mohawk? It’s leagues ahead of the conventional haircut that I attempted first, at least. (I was doing so well for a while, too. Then I got impatient and started hacking a way at it.)

But I’m still trying to make lemons out of lemonade here. (I’ll never get that idiom right the first time, and I don’t care.) And just to add insult to injury, one of my news reporter friends made the meme you see at the bottom. The b*****d.

So I’m not as much punk as I am a punk. Which is a shame, because I really wanted to cosplay as one of those kids from “Return of the Living Dead” (1985), or maybe good ‘ol Chris Wright from my long ago acting classes. (He had an immense dyed mohawk, and he might have been the only punk at Mary Washington College circa 1991.)

Oh, well. I’ve still got The Clash’s “Rock the Casbah” in my playlist. And I shared a Dead Kennedys video on Facebook the other day. (You know which one.) That counts for something.


This was not the evening I envisioned.

That awkward moment when you try to look punk but you inadvertently turn yourself into the god damned Ocean Spray logo.

I’m just waiting for Keanu Reeves to infiltrate a gang of surfers-turned-bank-robbers on my damned head.


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(I’ll even help.)