I don’t know what these two are discussing, but I know she has a couple of good points.
(I am so sorry. I apologize for this post. Puns like these are just irresistible to me. I have a problem.)
Tag Archives: humor
“AK-47 Hogku,” by Eric Robert Nolan
O, beloved young,
Flee the seething 30 to
50 feral hogs.
IT’S A JUNGLE IN THERE.
This is Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper” on steroids.
So we’re set, then.
Still a better attack plan then sending Dothraki cavalry ahead unsupported at the Battle of Winterfell.
And … still a better love story than “Twilight.”
I didn’t make this meme — I found it on Twitter. Everyone knows this is a gag cooked up by the young people, right? PLEASE tell me that everyone knows this is a gag. Otherwise, someone is going to get shot.
Probably me, even though I’ll be nowhere near Area 51, because that’s just how my luck works.
Me, I’d rather storm Pier One than Area 51 — get me some nice furniture. (I’m old.)
It’s so hot out that it looks like the new street tar is melting.
I’m serious. Look at the picture below. This is from a pothole that was fixed yesterday.
If it were any hotter out here, it would be King’s Landing.
Remember, guys. Replenish your electrolytes by drinking lots of Mercury Retrograde.
Eye like puns.
Gnat really loving these bugs flying into my eyes.
You see what I did there?
God DAMN, I’m brilliant. This is why I will inevitably be recognized as one of the 21st Century’s literary lions. I won’t forget where I came from, though. I’m taking all of you WITH me. Mark my words.
So I’m a meme now.
I was joking around about boycotts on Facebook today, and one of my friends made this. I don’t think I’ve ever actually participated in a boycott. They often seem to me to be an attempt at a de facto suppression of speech. I don’t know if I’m a so-called free speech absolutist, because that just feels like a loaded term, but I’ve gotten into trouble with both liberals and conservatives with my views in that area, which others tend to view as extreme.
But I guess that’s besides the point. People think this picture is funny. A college friend of mine out in Texas shared this in a few places after politely asking if he could make it “go viral.” (He asked the meme-maker’s permission, but not mine.) This is the same guy I told you about who’s a master pyro-technician and will likely puncture the ozone layer at some point in his lifetime.
Anyway, now there are a bunch of people out in the Lone Star State laughing at me, and I’m not sure why. (They weren’t privy to the Facebook conversation that spawned this.) It’s probably just my goofy-ass face.
I’m not even sure I remember taking this picture. I might have been in some kind of very chipper fugue state.
Another reason to love Roanoke — people laugh at my dinosaur jokes.
Or maybe they’re just being polite.
Which is probably more plausible.
Remember that guy I told you about who eats nine eggs at one sitting? I started calling him The Oviraptor, and that totally caught on. I’m a trend setter here.
A buddy of mine ate nine eggs in one sitting.
What you see below was a single meal for this guy. That’s six chicken eggs and three duck eggs. The plate is a regular-sized dinner plate.
He told me he’d probably be hungry again in about two hours’ time. He has a normal body weight.
I think he might be on of The X-Men.
You guys heard the news about “Space Force” today?
In a surprise press conference, President Trump unveiled its mission statement:
- Man the air.
- Ram the ramparts.
- Take over airports.
- Do everything they have to do.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 