Tag Archives: humor

Why can’t we be Franz?

Gonna make myself a superhero, gonna call myself “The Gray Ghost.”

That’s “Grey” for the BritBuds.

Nobody tell me if the name is already taken.  If it is, I don’t want to know.

I know that “Gentleman Ghost” is an obscure DC Comics supervillain, and he can keep his schtick because, seriously, look at that guy.

And then there was Dark Horse Comics’ “Ghost” from my college years; she at least had a great sense of style.

But “The Gray Ghost” is mine.  I declare it.

UPDATE –I did not know at the time that I wrote this that it was the moniker of a Confederate General!  I will have to come up with another name.



You know you’re a sci-fi/horror fan if the term “Winter Storm Blair” immediately makes you think of this person.

Two snowfalls within a week?

This feels like a normal winter.

And normalcy, my friends, was not on my 2025 bingo card.



I’m confused about how this will lower grocery prices.

 

#Ican’tseeshit

Was wondering who the hell “Susan Lilly” was.

Then I put my glasses on and saw that caller ID was just telling me “Scam Likely.”



Future Tense.

BritBud last night:     “Happy New Year from the future!”

Me:     “Happy New Year from the shameful and sordid past!”



Poetry and Commentary, 2024

2024 was a banner year for my poetry.  If you happen to enjoy my ongoing, Kafka-esque portraiture of a neurotic scribbler, all of the year’s publications can be found right here:

Poetry and Commentary, 2024



It’s true what they say — never shop stupid.

Which one of you bastards swapped out my chicken noodle soup with this “cream of chicken” monstrosity?  Because this stuff is a Lovecraftian horror whose secret ingredient is human suffering.

Seriously, this is what chicken would taste like if a diabolical AI had prepared it using only a rusty, radioactive blender and incomplete recipes gleaned from the ruins of a Cold War gulag — and if the chickens themselves had cholera.

Alright, alright — it maybe isn’t THAT bad, but I was jonesing for some real SOUP, and not this puzzling, paste-based concoction.

And of course the fault is mine.  (It always is.)  I grabbed the wrong package off the shelf at Kroger when I got excited over the sale price.  A lot of Campbell’s Soups look alike.



A Yuletide Flu.

So I had a Merry Sickmas.  We think it must have been some version of the flu, though it was curiously absent of any respiratory symptoms.

Trust me — the fever, fatigue and confusion were bad enough.  (Alright, yeah, the confusion for me is sort of a constant thing.)

It turns out I’m not the only one who was under the weather.  There are apparently a couple of different bugs going around; I know people from New York to Ohio for whom contagion was an unwanted present.

Anyway, pictured below is how I turned the corner on my illness.  (It’s been a slow process, but I got sick last Sunday and I feel like I am finally almost better right now.)  A fellow writer out in Arizona sent me this delectable fudge as a Festival of Lights gift, and it was one of the first things I was able to eat.  (The tiny little spoon it came with was just perfect for beginning with little bites.)

And it was at precisely that point when I stopped getting sicker and started getting better.  Fudge is superfood.