Tag Archives: red cup

Nerd Nolan — Fighting for YOU in the War on Christmas!

I went out tonight to get a haircut and a flu shot, and I almost came back with a disco ball and a giant ceramic grizzly bear head.  Because I’m that kind of guy.

And because those things were CHEAP.  I finally found something I’d been missing since I moved away from Queens so many years ago — a cool ethnic neighborhood.  Virginia does have them!  And they’re just full of really cool, friendly people; Mom-and-Pop businesses; and discount stores.

The discount stores are occasionally confusing to navigate —  I found  socks, wristwatches, Mary statuettes and cereal, for example all displayed neatly side by side.  But everything costs so LITTLE.  I swear that there was a man-size metal Christmas tree for $10.

My haircut was inexpensive too.  I flirted with the Spanish woman who rang me up, employing what little Spanish I have a handle on.  It totally fell flat.  When I lived in Queens the Spanish girls down the street at the deli would break into peals of laughter whenever I said, “Estoy en fuego por tu.”  I’ll try that line next time.

I also saw one of those “Chicken Pollo” restaurant signs across the highway from the haircut place.  But I though it said “Chicken Polio,” because I left my glasses at home, and I ate at Wendy’s, which had a sign that I could read.

Anyway, check out the Christmas tree and Christmas mug I bought below!  They are my first Christmas decorations of the year.  Although … maybe the tree actually DOES lend credence to the perceived “War on Christmas,” because, seriously, the price tag only says, “TREE, metal layered.”  And … it’s red.  (I’ve lost track of whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.)  I should write an angry letter to the people in China who made it.

I still want that ceramic grizzly bear head.

Can a single guy still shop at “Family Dollar?”

Honestly?  This entire post is kinda sad on number of levels.

 

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Starbucks offends me all the time.

They insult my intelligence whenever they ask me to pay $4.00 for a f**king cup of coffee.

I suggest it’s also occasionally too bitter when you buy it from the barista, and it’s always WAY too hot.

I’m far happier with a cup from Dunkin’ Donuts.  It tastes better, the large-size cups are bigger, and the tops are better designed so that you can drink them on the go.  And if it was good enough for my old man, then it’s good enough for me.

But don’t misunderstand.  I am not agreeing with the sanctimonious paranoids boycotting the company because … an absence of reindeer constitutes a “war on Christmas?”  Some arguments are so bizarre, I’m too busy scratching my head even to frame a rebuttal.  The words “separation of church and state” have never appeared on Starbucks coffee cups.  Nor have the words “First Amendment freedoms.”  So … is Starbucks also waging a “war on constitutional freedoms?”  Should I join the boycott myself, and ally with the angry Christians?

It is said that war makes strange bedfellows, after all.

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