Tag Archives: Starbucks

Southern hospitality, I guess.

Chilling in the Star City with a café mocha — courtesy of a super-cool writer pal. Thinking up some future stories.  (Thank you, m’Dear.)  No, I cannot close a Starbucks lid correctly — it’s why I’m always spilling coffee on myself.

Everyone is so extraordinarily nice in this town.  People actually slow their cars to a stop to allow you to cross the street — even when they have the right of way!  They even make eye contact, and smile and nod when they do it!  Such a thing would be virtually unheard of in New York, which is basically Thunderdome when compared with Roanoke.

How can such vast numbers of people in this city be so polite?  This city might be the eighth wonder of the world.

I need to learn to be a little more pleasant and sociable to match the spirit of humanity here.  I can think of it as getting into “Roanoke-mode.”

 

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Black humor.

I was at Starbucks today, and I waited a full 23 minutes in line. There were still four people ahead of me. I was late for an appointment, and I needed coffee. I just … grabbed a tall coffee that had been laid out for a customer ahead of me. I didn’t pay for it. Just walked out the door.

In the parking lot, I sipped it to discover it was a delectable CAFE MOCHA.

Are you judging me? Don’t.

DON’T JUDGE ANY MAN UNTIL YOU WALK A MILE IN HIS MOCHA SINS.

 

 

Nerd Nolan — Fighting for YOU in the War on Christmas!

I went out tonight to get a haircut and a flu shot, and I almost came back with a disco ball and a giant ceramic grizzly bear head.  Because I’m that kind of guy.

And because those things were CHEAP.  I finally found something I’d been missing since I moved away from Queens so many years ago — a cool ethnic neighborhood.  Virginia does have them!  And they’re just full of really cool, friendly people; Mom-and-Pop businesses; and discount stores.

The discount stores are occasionally confusing to navigate —  I found  socks, wristwatches, Mary statuettes and cereal, for example all displayed neatly side by side.  But everything costs so LITTLE.  I swear that there was a man-size metal Christmas tree for $10.

My haircut was inexpensive too.  I flirted with the Spanish woman who rang me up, employing what little Spanish I have a handle on.  It totally fell flat.  When I lived in Queens the Spanish girls down the street at the deli would break into peals of laughter whenever I said, “Estoy en fuego por tu.”  I’ll try that line next time.

I also saw one of those “Chicken Pollo” restaurant signs across the highway from the haircut place.  But I though it said “Chicken Polio,” because I left my glasses at home, and I ate at Wendy’s, which had a sign that I could read.

Anyway, check out the Christmas tree and Christmas mug I bought below!  They are my first Christmas decorations of the year.  Although … maybe the tree actually DOES lend credence to the perceived “War on Christmas,” because, seriously, the price tag only says, “TREE, metal layered.”  And … it’s red.  (I’ve lost track of whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.)  I should write an angry letter to the people in China who made it.

I still want that ceramic grizzly bear head.

Can a single guy still shop at “Family Dollar?”

Honestly?  This entire post is kinda sad on number of levels.

 

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Starbucks offends me all the time.

They insult my intelligence whenever they ask me to pay $4.00 for a f**king cup of coffee.

I suggest it’s also occasionally too bitter when you buy it from the barista, and it’s always WAY too hot.

I’m far happier with a cup from Dunkin’ Donuts.  It tastes better, the large-size cups are bigger, and the tops are better designed so that you can drink them on the go.  And if it was good enough for my old man, then it’s good enough for me.

But don’t misunderstand.  I am not agreeing with the sanctimonious paranoids boycotting the company because … an absence of reindeer constitutes a “war on Christmas?”  Some arguments are so bizarre, I’m too busy scratching my head even to frame a rebuttal.  The words “separation of church and state” have never appeared on Starbucks coffee cups.  Nor have the words “First Amendment freedoms.”  So … is Starbucks also waging a “war on constitutional freedoms?”  Should I join the boycott myself, and ally with the angry Christians?

It is said that war makes strange bedfellows, after all.

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