All posts by Eric Robert Nolan

Eric Robert Nolan graduated from Mary Washington College in 1994 with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. He spent several years a news reporter and editorial writer for the Culpeper Star Exponent in Culpeper, Virginia. His work has also appeared on the front pages of numerous newspapers in Virginia, including The Free Lance – Star and The Daily Progress. Eric entered the field of philanthropy in 1996, as a grant writer for nonprofit healthcare organizations. Eric’s poetry has been featured by Dead Beats Literary Blog, Dagda Publishing, The International War Veterans’ Poetry Archive, and elsewhere. His poetry will also be published by Illumen Magazine in its Spring 2014 issue.

“Christian’s Combat With Apollyon,” from John Bunyan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress,” circa 1850

Illustrations by H. C. Selous and M. Paolo Priolo.

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“This is a Poem for the Monster Girls,” by Meg Haney

I shared this popular poem a couple of days ago when I found it on Facebook, as I have several female friends who it fits to a tee. Author Meg Haney was kind enough to permit me to copy it and run it here.

“This is a Poem for the Monster Girls”

by Meg Haney

This is a poem for the monster girls
The ones who have no stars in their skin
Only fire and iron and rhinoceros hides
For the ones who have walked fire alone
Into those dark forests and shouting storms
On those deep dark and endless nights
This is a poem for those who didn’t emerge
With that crown of gold or prince charming
No Disney choruses or extended dance numbers
The ones who stayed in the wild strengthening their soul
and forging their hearts to a brand new and different sheen
for the ones who didn’t remain in their beds
pulling the covers overhead hoping for rescue
but Stood facing the monsters and storms
they walked the fire and faced the dragons
and often made peace with those that lived inside
Those who struck at the fiends at the gate
The invading forces and the wicked pain
whipping with wild blows, shouting their own storm
This is for the not Princesses, the unroyal and deposed
For the wild warriors and mythic goddesses
Those who will never stoop to be a simple queen
Never don an insipid crown or sit on a cushioned throne
This is for those who know that this story is for you to write
You and you alone this is for you to craft as a tale of hero or woe
This is for those who have learned to breathe fire
letting it shine through their scars and light the way for others.
Stop waiting for Prince Charming…
Get up and go, find him, the poor fool may be in need of a good rescue
Heck he could be stuck in a tree or something

(c) Meg Haney 2014

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I NEED TO ADOPT THIS “PINE MARTEN” AS A PET.

So I’m working on a poem, and I need to ascertain that the martin and the raven are indeed two different species of birds.

Google shows me this.  Holy crap, do I ever need this animal as a pet.

Evidently, this animal is called a “pine marten?”  So some mammals are also “martens” with an “e?”

Whatever.  As a guy who just doesn’t get sports, the agent provocateur here is far more entertaining than the actual game.

“Pine marten” is a pretty name.  But I think proper adherence to scientific nomenclature better suggests “funnier wolverine” or “disruptive weasel” or even just “AWESOME BASTARD.”

Weird world: I had no idea that a “rook” was a crow until I read “Wizard and Glass.”  (Cuthbert Allgood wears a “rook’s skull” as a pendant, as a gag.)  You can learn a lot from Stephen King.

A very short review of “The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies” (2014)

I think that “The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies” (2014) is the best of Peter Jackson’s prequel trilogy, and not only because of its predictably terrific climactic battle.  I’d give this movie a 9 out of 10.

First, it’s less cartoonish and far more adult than its predecessors, in everything from its themes to its fight choreography.  (Compare the beautifully staged final melees here, for example, with that Warner Brothers-esque sequence in the second film, in which the dwarves dance across barrels and river rapids to repel their orc pursuers.)

It also seems like a better peek at a larger fantasy universe, with different races, armies and cultures working at cross purposes before needing to align, and with more than one protagonist’s real failings factoring in to that.

And … HOT DAMN!  That’s GOTTA be the greatest depiction of a dragon I’ve ever seen.  One small quibble I’ve had throughout all of Jackson’ Tolkien films was that the stories’ antagonists sometimes seemed too silly and clownish to be truly menacing.  (The orcs, trolls and goblins seemed cartoonish and are too easily defeated by beings sometimes half their height; only the Nazguls and the Uruk-Hai hybrids managed to impress.)  Jackson’s depiction of Smaug ravaging Laketown makes dragons look like Middle Earth’s equivalent of a goddam nuclear device.

[Edit: I just realized that in both this film and NBC’s “Hannibal,” the amazing Richard Armitage costars with a “Red Dragon.]

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“Annabel Lee,” by Edgar Allan Poe

Halloween season is almost upon us.  (I’m the kind of purist who thinks it begins on October 1.  My neighbors have shown surprising restraint; I’ve only seen one decorated house.)  And Halloween is the season for Edgar Allan Poe.

I’m running “Annabel Lee” today, however, because I was chatting with a Mary Washington College Alumna the other day who named her daughter “Annabelle.”  The conversation came up after my review of last year’s surprisingly good horror movie of the same name.  (My New Hall friend arrived at “Annabelle” after researching the name, but not after this poem.  That would be weird.)

“Annabel Lee,” by Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

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Photo credit: By Edgar Allan Poe, “Annabel Lee”, 1849 fair copy. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

This “flying-squirrel-man” video might be the most extraordinary footage I’ve ever seen.

Dear LORD.  Watch it.  For the full effect, click to enlarge and play it with the sound on.

I don’t know how to describe it, except that it follows a man who has donned a kind of flying squirrel suit that allows him to glide over half an everlovin’ MOUNTAIN RANGE before deploying a parachute.  It’s basically a big “F YOU” to the laws of physics and anything resembling a sense of self preservation.

It’s extraordinary:

I’m just slightly underwhelmed by “The X Files” reboot trailer.

It really just seems to show us everything we’ve seen before: ominous dialogue; dire, vague warnings from sources; and flashbacks to urgent looking 50’s-era soldiers and government workers.  All of those things taken together were sufficient to entertain for, oh, say … eight years or so.  But by the time we reached Season 9, the show really suffered from what seemed like endlessly recycled tropes and story arcs.

If the show does take new directions, as it needed to before it was cancelled, then it will need time to develop.  The January “miniseries” will only be six episodes to start with.  And I thought I read elsewhere that Chris Carter intends some of those to go to the popular “monster-of-the-week” eps that had nothing to do with the overarching mythology.

Nor do I think our main characters will be reunited with the Cigarette Smoking Man.  We do not see the face of (priceless) actor William B. Davis.  It’s only a hand, and it looks like a young man’s hand.  I’m betting we see him only in flashback.

See what you think from the trailer below.  (It’s in two parts.)

I know this is probably non sequitur, but if you love Davis’ work the way I do, then please check out his supporting role in the criminally underrated thriller, “The Tall Man” (2012).

CALL YOUR CONGRESSMEN TODAY TO SUPPORT MEDICAL CARE FOR 9/11 FIRST RESPONDERS.

Please call your representatives in Congress to support urgently needed medical care for 9/11 First Responders.  Congress will vote this week on whether or not to extend the James Zadroga Act, which supports potentially lifesaving care for police, fire & rescue, and recovery workers at the site of the World Trade Center attack.

It’s quick and easy.  Just dial the Capitol Switchboard (202) 224-3121, and they can connect you with your Representative and both of your Senators.

Or, you find the numbers for your Representative here:   http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/

and both of your Senators here:  http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm?OrderBy=state&Sort=ASC .

For more information on the efforts of First Responders to ask Congress to support this critically needed law, click here for a message from First Responder John Feal:

https://www.change.org/p/tell-congress-we-will-never-forget-9-11-first-responders-and-survivors/u/13446944

Again, I am especially hoping that my fellow New Yorkers will take the time to do this.  On September 11, 2001, these men and women were there for us.  Now it is our turn to be there for them.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane!! It’s SUPERMOON!! (And an eclipsed moon! And a “blood moon!”)

No wonder medieval people freaked out at lunar eclipses.  I suppose if you had no scientific knowledge to interpret such an event, and it occurred unexpectedly, it would be a little unsettling.

Frankly, I’m glad I could even see the supermoon eclipse, as I am notoriously poor at spotting all things heavenly.  Also, some of my Virginia friends were unable to see it, while others could.  There was a lot of cloud cover to pass over my little stretch of the Commonwealth’s rolling dark Autumn hills, but high winds let that darkening lunar eye peek cravenly and intermittently past it, down at me.  The “blood moon” effect was achieved, unless I’m seeing things — that red “haze” was visible at the eclipse’s height.

The photo you see below is not my own; I abruptly accosted a stranger on the Facebook wall of horror writer and editor Wednesday Lee Friday.  (Thank you for the shot, Kleopatra Daravingas!)  🙂

[UPDATE:  Dammit …. you know what would have been a more clever headline, even if only Stephen King fans would have gotten it?  “M-O-O-N — that spells ‘moon.'”]

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Don’t buy Target gift cards online …

… lest your experience parallel my own.

Here’s what might happen.

  1.  You buy an online “gift card” via Target.com to be sent via e-mail to its recipient.  (The recipient is then supposed to apply the balance to their Target.com account so that they can make purchases.)
  2. Your credit card will be charged promptly, but your intended recipient receives no e-mail from Target at all.
  3. You call to rectify the situation.  Target then sends the promised e-mail to the recipient with the virtual gift card.  But it is useless because it has been cancelled.
  4. You call to rectify the situation again, but the customer service rep informs you that Target’s computers are down.
  5. You call back the following day, hoping to get it all straightened out.  But Target’s solution is a slightly confusing process by which they send the gift card to you, then you resend it to the intended recipient.  It’s confusing because this e-mail from Target makes it look like they have sent a SECOND gift card to you to apologize for your trouble.  (No, that’s the gift card you mean to give to your friend.)
  6. Honestly?  Just buy a f&*$ing Amazon gift card, people.