I invented my own cheeseburger and I’m damned proud. I was going to call it “the Nolan Burger,” but that sounds too much like the “nothing burger” of today’s political parlance. Then I was going to call it “the Roanoker,” but there is actually a restaurant here by that name. (I could swear one of the local sandwich shops also has a sandwich called “the Roanoker” — maybe McAlister’s?)
So it’s the Cheese Bukowsi. (I’d like to think old Charles would be happy with that.)
Here’s the recipe:
Begin cooking only after sleeping late. “Never get out of bed before noon.”
Fry a burger only until it’s somewhat rare.
Fry some thinly sliced hamsteak alongside the burger in the same pan. Cook the hamsteak until it’s crispy and well done.
Drape the hamsteak over the burger, and add two thick slices of Muenster cheese. (If available, make it Boar’s Head brand.)
If the grease in the pan sizzles and pops to burn your hand, just grin and bear it. ““What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.”
Offer to cook them for your buddies. Because they’re pretty chill.
Enjoy! Chillax for a bit before moving on to the day’s tasks. ““My ambition is handicapped by laziness.”
Remember to carry out all of the above with STYLE, God damn it!!!!! “To do a dull thing with style — now that’s what I call art.”
Hi, gang. This is just a quick note to let you know I’ve added a new page here at the site to sort of round up my poetry recordings. You should be able to find any one of them right here:
As I explained last year, monster movies were simply a part of Thanksgiving if you lived in the Tri-State region around New York City between 1976 and 1985. This was due to WOR-9’s “Holiday Film Festival” broadcast, which actually also extended to the day following the holiday after the lineup’s first year. (People just called it the “Monster Movie Marathon.”)
As a kid, I was a hell of a lot more thrilled with the monster movies than anything being served for dinner. (Remember, video stores only began arriving the early 1980’s. Before that, you usually had to catch a movie on television if you wanted to see it at all. It’s why every house had a “TV Guide.”)
“King Kong vs. Godzilla” (1962) was one gem in the marathon. (Or, at least, it seemed like an amazing film to a gradeschool boy.) I was raised with the enduring myth that this Japanese film had two endings — an American version where King Kong prevailed, and a Japanese version where its native Godzilla was the victor.) My Dad told me that, and I remember being fascinated that a movie could have two different endings. I actually only learned just now, writing this blog entry, that it was a particularly widespread urban legend — stemming from an erroneous report in “Spacemen” magazine. The American version of the film had tons of alterations, but the outcome was essentially the same — King Kong won.
There were always a few more Godzilla movies on the day after Thanksgiving, too. “Son of Godzilla” (1967) was one of them; that was always hit with the kids. (I could swear at some point there was a cartoon adaptation in the early 80’s.) It was weird how 80’s kids apparently loved that ostensibly “cute” character; the adult in me today swears that “Son of Godzilla” looks like an upright, reptile-shaped poop. (Seriously, check out the second clip below.)
“Godzilla vs. Megalon” (1973) was another one I seem to remember being pretty thrilled with. I was even occasionally scared of the giant monsters in flicks like these. (Hey, I was a little kid.) Even as a first- or second-grader, though, I was smart enough to question why these movies were weirdly inconsistent. (Why was Godzilla a bad guy who destroyed Tokyo in one movie, but the “good monster” that the Japanese rooted for in another?)
I’m learning now that “Godzilla vs. Megalon” was the target of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. I’m going to have to hunt that one down.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 