Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

Fun Social Media Game — What is Your Pandemic IQ?

1) Take the number of days you’ve quarantined.
2) Add the number of times you’ve washed your hands today.
3) Divide by Covid-19.
4) Multiply by the number of typos you found in Donald Trump’s last tweet.
5) Subtract by the number of times you tried to scratch your nose through your mask today, because you are an IMBECILE.
6) Multiply by Steely Dan’s “Hey 19.”
7) Add 1984.
8) How do I love thee? (Count the ways and then add them.)
9) Divide and conquer.
10) Goto Line 10.
11) Add a hominem.
12) Explain the steps you took, it in the voice of a muppet vampire who LOVES TO COUNT.
13) Integers. Or something.
14) Cube 2: Hypercube.
15) Subtract Matchbox 20.
16) Snap your fingers wearing the Infinity Gauntlet — so that it’s perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
17) Explain the math of this to Private Rieben. (Show your work.)
18) If your answer is all mixed up by 311, you’ve got to trust your instinct and let go of regret. (You’ve got to bet on yourself now, Star. ‘Cause that’s your best bet. WATCH ME NOW.)

 

 

We are better than this.

The President of the United States appears to be inciting anti-government violence, via tweet, in the middle of a pandemic.

If you support this man, I am asking you to please stop. He is not a “conservative” or a savior or a man who is being “used by God.”

He is simply a madman.

This goes beyond “conservative” or “liberal.”  We — all of us — are better than this.

[Link]

 

 

Stinkbug on my coffeecup. Fits right in with my damned day.

I’d bitch about having to wash the cup, if I wasn’t already at the sink 20 times a day washing my hands to avoid a potentially fatal contagion anyway.

THIS IS NOT THE FUTURE WESTWORLD PROMISED US. It contains 100 percent less Dom Dolores Dangerbot and 100 percent more stinkbug-on-my-coffee-cup.

WE GOT ROBBED.

 

2020-04-17c

Here’s a thought —

You can probably find your local fire/EMS departments on Facebook. (I’m not sure about Twitter and other platforms.) It’s quick and easy to comment with a thank you or some encouraging words for first responders.

It isn’t much, I guess, but it’s something.

 

 

(I’m so funny.)

Girl on Twitter: “Why does Trump insist on saying that we are in a “war”?”

Me: “He thinks it makes him sound tough. (If it were really a war, he would have gotten a deferment due to bone spurs.)”

 

 

Throwback Thursday: “Rebound!”

I’m pretty sure that my older brother got Ideal’s “Rebound” game when it first came out in the mid-1970’s; it wound up in my hands a few years down the line.  When I was in the first or second grade, I thought it was the coolest thing imaginable.

 

“Master and Boatswain” by W. H. Auden (read by Eric Robert Nolan)

April is National Poetry Month.

“Master and Boatswain” by W. H. Auden

At Dirty Dick’s and Sloppy Joe’s
We drank our liquor straight,
Some went upstairs with Margery,
And some, alas, with Kate;
And two by two like cat and mouse,
The homeless played at keeping house.

There Wealthy Meg, the Sailor’s Friend,
And Marion, cow-eyed,
Opened their arms to me, but I
Refused to step inside;
I was not looking for a cage
In which to mope in my old age.

T’he nightingale are sobbing in
The orchards of our mothers,
And hearts that we broke long ago
Have long been breaking others;
Tears are round, the sea is deep:
Roll them overboard and sleep.

 

Thanks (again).

I’m probably repeating myself here, but if you are a healthcare professional or a frontline worker of any kind, seriously, thank you.

Doctors and nurses are facing challenges on the job that I couldn’t imagine. Lord knows most of us would have a hard time summoning the courage to face the dangers that they do. I can’t imagine being that disciplined or mentally tough.

And where would we be without essential service workers and store employees? I know that many of them are exposed to a frightening degree of risk — and often for little money. The rest of us would be screwed if they weren’t there. It really is just that simple.

Anyway — you customer service folks — lots of us are especially grateful to you … I hope that you don’t run across any bad apples that obscure the fact.

Hey — if you are reading this and you’re interacting with frontline workers of any kind … maybe we can all make a sort of honor-system-ish online pact here to be extra courteous? I used to work retail, and I can assure you that a sincere thank you or a kind word goes a long way. And tipping well can really underscore the point.

 

 

Future publication

Hey, gang — here’s just a quick update of where my poems and stories will appear next.

Future publication

 

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Donald Trump Limerick #6

And now the disordered goon
is hell-bent on mining the moon.
The strange new digression
leaves us the impression
that he’s a distractible loon.