Tag Archives: humor

Throwback Thursday: “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981)!

This is it, folks.  This is the greatest movie of all time.  It’s better than “Blade Runner” (1982), better than John Carpenter’s “The Thing” (1982), better than “Aliens” (1986).  And those movies were all … perfect.  (Man the 1980’s really were a golden age for pop culture, weren’t they?)

I was eight years old when I saw this in the theater, and I thereafter was a bit of an Indiana Jones cultist.  It wasn’t just the action figures and board games and comic book and posters and role-playing games.  I actually resolved to become an archeologist (or a paleontologist), and I thought the best way that I could prepare for that as a third grader was to gain experience “in the field.”

So I would lead my friends on “digs” or “expeditions” in the forests around my neighborhood.  We would often arbitrarily pick a spot in the middle of nowhere and then just dig there, with a shovels we borrowed from my family’s garage.  We were hoping to find … anything of interest, I guess :buried treasure, dinosaur bones, Indian arrowheads, whatever.  (We never did.  About the only thing we “discovered” was that tree roots are a real bitch when you’re trying to dig a hole.)  I even kept maps and journals of our “adventures.”  These are the kinds of things that boys do before they discover girls.

I tried to look the part, too.  I had a brown cowboy hat that I hoped could pass for a fedora, an (empty) binocular case and a prop bullwhip snagged from a Levi’s jeans display at the local mall.  My older brother called me “Idaho Bones” because I essentially was a cheap, skinny knockoff of the character I wanted to emulate.  I hated it at the time, but as an adult, I kinda can’t dispute his assessment.

Oh, well.  We all had fun.  Every other boy in the neighborhood who spotted that bullwhip wanted to try it, so there’s that.

To this day, “Raiders” is still my favorite movie ever.

By the way, I am linking below to the Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers Youtube channel.



ATTIC OF THE CLONES.

Be nice to nerds. This is a totally real thing I said last night to a college friend:

“Well, I am not identifying any more action figures from your attic, MISSY.”



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The Porky Nolan.

Remember that amazing sandwich recipe I shared the other day?   The one with melted mozzarella and spaghetti sauce over mild Italian sausage?

It works just fine with a pork chop too.



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You poly understand.

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The Nolan Italiana.

Fried mild Italian sausage, melted mozzarella, and spaghetti sauce, served on toast.



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Throwback Thursday: that one time I walked up on the filming of a U2 video.

Flashback to the middle aughts — I emerged from New York City’s Penn Station with a group of friends to an amazing surprise.  It was none other than U2 being hauled past the transportation hub on the back of a flatbed truck, playing music.

Then, the other day, after maybe 18 years or so, my girlfriend sends me the video for a song she likes — U2’s “All Because of You.”  (It’s from their 2004 album, “How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.”)  There’s the flatbed truck with the band performing all over the city.

So that’s what that was all about.  A mystery nearly two decades old at lasts stands revealed.

Of course I scoured every frame of the video hoping that there was a one-in-a-million chance I’d see myself in the background.  No such luck.

Anyway, my four other brushes with famous people are as follows:

  1. Madonna.  (I saw her for two seconds entering a building in Manhattan.)
  2. Linda Ronstadt.  (I gave her a tour at a historic site.)
  3. Marissa Tormei.  (I saw her in a restaurant in Brooklyn.)
  4. Ralph Macchio.  (I checked him out at a video store.)
  5. Henry Kissinger.  (I saw him at a fundraising event and helped his Secret Service detail get situated.  Seriously, you can not make this stuff up.)


I got mugged.

This was a gift from a Mary Washington College friend who came through town.  (This comes after that weird time at the service station where they handed me a Playboy lighter.)

Seriously, you people entirely overestimate my Playboyishness.



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They shoulda called him “Wilford Grimly.”

Yeah, I challenge you to name ONE person who was actually persuaded to eat Quaker Oats because of those weird appeals by Wilford Brimley.  This was the weirdest ad campaign ever.

“It’s the right thing to do.”

Was it a f***ing moral dilemma?

Postscript: no disrespect to the actor himself; Brimley was a sublime thespian.  He was a key part of what is arguably the greatest science-fiction horror film of all time — John Carpenter’s 1982 masterpiece, “The Thing.”  (I was actually unaware until writing this that he passed away back in 2020. )  THAT AIN’T FUCHS.



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Silent Hill, Roanoke.

Nothing to see here.  Just the Wells Fargo Tower in Roanoke, Virginia rising into a goddam otherworldly mist.

No photo filters.



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My fellow insomniac friends were calling me Kramer last night.

My late-night hair stands straighter than all of yours. Don’t even try to compete!



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