If a Jedi offers you a tour of the Jedi Temple, is it a tour de force?
(*%$#, even I can agree that one’s terrible. I’m sorry.)
Tag Archives: humor
(You’re just praying these jokes will end, aren’t you?)
“NOT TODAY, SANTA.”
— The Dyslexic Evangelical
(Yeah, so I’m an influencer now. Send me free steaks.)
Why am I going nuts every night for Banquet brand Salisbury steaks from the frozen food section? It just seems like such an unlikely addiction.
But I just can’t defrost the succulent little bastards fast enough.
I’d probably be shooting this gravy right into my veins, but then I couldn’t taste it.
Mmmphf mff mmphf.
DAMN FINE PRODUCT.
What is it like approaching midlife in the South?
You sit down at precisely the same time that your neighbor fires a gun off at 2 AM, and you wonder with panic whether the sound you just heard was you blowing out a knee.
True story.
Staying abreast of automotive technology?
I don’t know what these two are discussing, but I know she has a couple of good points.
(I am so sorry. I apologize for this post. Puns like these are just irresistible to me. I have a problem.)
“AK-47 Hogku,” by Eric Robert Nolan
O, beloved young,
Flee the seething 30 to
50 feral hogs.
IT’S A JUNGLE IN THERE.
This is Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper” on steroids.
So we’re set, then.
Still a better attack plan then sending Dothraki cavalry ahead unsupported at the Battle of Winterfell.
And … still a better love story than “Twilight.”
I didn’t make this meme — I found it on Twitter. Everyone knows this is a gag cooked up by the young people, right? PLEASE tell me that everyone knows this is a gag. Otherwise, someone is going to get shot.
Probably me, even though I’ll be nowhere near Area 51, because that’s just how my luck works.
Me, I’d rather storm Pier One than Area 51 — get me some nice furniture. (I’m old.)
It’s so hot out that it looks like the new street tar is melting.
I’m serious. Look at the picture below. This is from a pothole that was fixed yesterday.
If it were any hotter out here, it would be King’s Landing.
Remember, guys. Replenish your electrolytes by drinking lots of Mercury Retrograde.
Eye like puns.
Gnat really loving these bugs flying into my eyes.
You see what I did there?
God DAMN, I’m brilliant. This is why I will inevitably be recognized as one of the 21st Century’s literary lions. I won’t forget where I came from, though. I’m taking all of you WITH me. Mark my words.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 