Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

KILL IT WITH FIRE.

I swear this spider was as long as my thumb.   I could have put my shoe or maybe a quarter next to it for scale, but I don’t want to stick any part of my body near this thing, and I don’t want to subsidize its hellish agenda.  (I did kinda zoom out so that you can compare it to the size of the curb.)

What does it eat?!  Birds?!  Why does it appear to have racing stripes?!

To quote the immortal Ellen Ripley, I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit.  It’s the only way to be sure.

Update: someone is trying to persuade me that this is a “garden spider,” and that they are quite harmless.  I’m not sure I buy that.

 

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Throwback Thursday: “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” (1978)!

“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” was a spoof of sci-fi/horror films that hit theaters in 1978, and broadcast television shortly after that.   (The first video below is the film’s trailer; the second is its campy theme song.)  I think I was a second grader when I saw the movie on TV, and I positively loved it.  I still remember rolling around on the living room floor in peals of laughter.  I talked about it for weeks — and to anybody who would listen.  (If you think my social skills are lacking as an adult, you should have seen me in the second grade.)

I was surprised to learn recently that this film has a cult following.  I’ve hardly heard about it since the close of the 1970’s — and I’ve known a lot of flick nuts.

 

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This goes well beyond party.

It’s past midnight.  I am actually nervously analyzing the President’s vocal and physical cues in all the most recent footage I can find of him to assess any symptoms of substance abuse and/or mental illness.  I swear.  I feel certain any of my friends who are not Republican would not find me paranoid for doing this.

I never thought I’d see the day.

I’m not just talking about longstanding mental disorders that many have long felt confident about pointing out — like narcissism.  I’m trying to figure out if there’s anything acute about to present.

I feel like his rhetoric has always been goddam alarming and that of a wannabe dictator. But recent events show a sharp decline in his decision-making.  (I realize that sounds like a massive understatement in light of his incredible troop withdrawal from northern Syria, and its consequences … maybe I’m just trying to be dispassionate here.)

People sometimes say that he slurs his words; I, in all honesty, have discerned that only once.  (It was a while ago; I can’t remember where he was — maybe it was a CPAC speech?)

His body language today was different.  He doesn’t look good.  His face occasionally looks bloated to me, and today he seemed tired.

So much of what comes out of his mouth is crazy, but that’s been true from the start.  So … maybe I should be less worried, given his “baseline?”  That seems like false comfort.

I keep reminding myself that he’s 73 years old.

I am genuinely worried.

I’m sorry that this is such a rambling post … I guess this is just sort of a stream of consciousness tonight.

 

 

(This should really appeal to your basssse.)

Mr. President, here’s a brilliant idea.  Why don’t we combine your plans for the border moat and your plans for the Space Force and just launch snakes and alligators into space?

Designing spacesuits for the snakes would be a challenge — as would the question of how they would hold their laser guns.  But if we pulled it off, we could call it the Ssssssspace Force.

Locating the snakes to recruit would be easy. Just look at any Republican Congressman still supporting you.

 

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The Piker Press features “Delaware Sheets”

I’m honored today to see my poem “Delaware Sheets” published by The Piker Press.  You can find it right here.

As always, thank you, Editor Sand Pilarski, for allowing me to be a part of The Piker Press community.

 

 

It’s all about branding.

Maybe the Kurds should have worn swastikas on their uniforms, so that Donald Trump would support them.

 

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Photo credit: Charlottesville ‘Unite the Right’ Rally. Anthony Crider; cropped by Beyond My Ken (talk) 20:37, 9 April 2018 (UTC) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D

Why do I feel attacked?

The meme below was created by J.D. Smith.  I’ve met at least two of these criteria.  I’m embarrassed to say which.

Gonna write me a poem based on a pun.

Gonna call it “No Poem Intended.”

 

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“Chihuahuaiku,” by Eric Robert Nolan

All the little dogs

chasing and biting me can

just go f*** themselves.

 

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Photo credit: By David Shankbone – Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5136536

“Industrial Revolution,” by Eric Robert Nolan

“Industrial Revolution,” by Eric Robert Nolan

1.

Did Leonardo Da Vinci
Endlessly dream of machines?
Not his own baroque creations, those
Wood and wire winged artworks
That hung over his study:
Alate and ordered, latticed contraptions,
Each a suspended symmetry,
Gargoyles in geometry.

Did he dream of machines to come?
I picture him up late,
Poring over his own illustrations first, then
Ushered into Euclidean sleep
By soothing mathematics —
The soft and ordered blossoms of
His own woodwork designs
Were flower-petal angles in his brain.

Could he, asleep, have foreseen
The assembly line, Ford’s
Ant-like Model T production?
Did he have an artist’s abhorrence
For its linear, dull, and utilitarian order?
Was it a nightmare for him?

2.

How did farmers feel
In the Industrial Revolution?
Staid agrarian men, their disapproving eyes
On the newfangled factories
Lining the horizon.

A rising scent of sulfur announces an age —
The new ripe stink
Of an advancing century.

The lined and coal colored fortresses,
Of an impregnable era.
Were castles for the Barons
In a new, feudal America —
Only burning – their smoke
Seeding a virgin sky
Up from the wide black loins and the lined, cracked skin
Of a newly darkened Earth.
Did they resent or marvel at
The New Century’s soot Aesthetic –
The black castles of iron?
A lined and ordered Hell —
Souls among the smokestacks,
And bellies full of conflagrations?

To the later observers of old photographs,
The blackening symmetry
At ninety-degree angles might
Resemble the rise of circuits.
Can you imagine farmers
Having prescient dreams?
What would one have thought, all tucked under
A homespun quilt at dark
Resenting advancing fortunes?
Might even one, once, in his antipathy
Have predicted, asleep,
The microchip’s square face?

I know no etymology
For the word, “Revolution.”
Is its root “revolt?”
To rise up against?
Or “revolve,” as in a circle?
“Revolve” as in “return?”

3.

Could Edison or Tesla
Have envisioned television – its great glass eye
Like Homer’s Cyclops,
Dull and full of vulgar visions,
Its mood made capricious
With changing channels?

We ought to pluck it out, or, at least,
Turn away at dinner.
We should cling to the books of our childhoods
Like the bellies of great sheep.
But we are not as sly
As Odysseus.

4.

During the old Cold War
In my 1980’s childhood
My father said he believed
Machines could prevent The End.

The Communist Revolution,
The Bolshevik revolt,
Had made its rising Bear
America’s enemy, in
A Nuclear Exchange, but Reagan
Marshaled forth our own machines in greater numbers.

I feared them —
The ICBM’s —
As a boy I imagined them
Rising in the sky in perfect symmetry
To make the new, black backcloth
Of the Atomic Age.

At the age of 13
I wrote a poem describing
Their blossoming explosions.
In my childhood dreams
Their interlocking contrails
Looked like lattice work
Or angled flower petals.
In nightmares they are prescient
The warheads already know
The name of every child turned to soot.

My father, however, envisioned
Devices on all our wrists
Connecting us all – we’d know
That distant Russian farmers
Were no Politburo.
Finally realizing
That we were all the same
We’d be reluctant to push
The Button.
Before the 90’s advent
Of The Internet
Was this a kind of prescience?
My father was a poet too.
Today, in his absence,
After I write this
I’ll share it with Eugene, my friend,
In Russia.

5.

My mother’s best machine
Is a tablet on her lap
Looking ironically like
Half the Christian commandments.
She asks me how I am.
I lie and say I’m fine.
In my heart, I am a farmer
Tucked under a quilt.
Circuits rise in the East;
In the West,
Missiles rise and arc at dusk.

My own machine
(with which I write this now)
Is full of distant visions:
The new and chic and sinful interests —
Zooey Deschanel and Richard Dawkins,
The New Girl and the erudite Briton,
Lust and apostasy in Windows.
Someday will there be
Prescient machines?
(Now, about the present, they’re omniscient.)

My favorite TV program
Shows monotheistic machines,
And an embittered robot
Has a nuclear suitcase.
The hunted warn one another,
“The Cylons look like us now.”
Elsewhere, seen
By my machine
An internet flame war
Turns NUCLEAR.
A nationalistic ugliness ensues
Stoked along the coals of the global circuitry.
My screen is the glass face
Of a monster hurling stones.
Maybe this, instead, is Homer’s Cyclops.

My laptop “hibernates”
When left alone too long
Once I imagined it dreaming
Of a better owner.

So unlike Da Vinci’s,
The asymmetric gargoyle
Of our own uncertain future
Hangs over our heads
Like a Sword of Damocles.
Its lopsided face
And lack of proper geometry
Is still our own design.

6.

I’m almost 41 and miss the girl I love.
She had a Revolution — rising in her cheeks
Flush red when
I tickled her tummy in public
That time in Virginia Beach.
Hailing from The South, we’d joke
She was a “farmer’s daughter.”
In her last words to me, she said
She couldn’t know the future.
(She isn’t prescient, after all.)
“A lot needs to happen.”
And now I need to be
Industrious.
When people ask me what I dream
I say that I do not.
Besides, I’d rather not.
Not when the red flush rises yet again in her high white cheeks
Like twin sudden gardens full of roses.

And I endlessly dream of machines.
I dream that I am one.
My face is the same, except
A bright-hot piston heart
Replaces soft aorta,
Hardened steel instead of red tissue,
And my mind
Is a reliable hard drive
Holding balanced equations.
This would be easier.
I want a world of heuristics.
Algorithms instead
Of red flush memories.

I want a Revolution.
I want the world to change.
If I see my Love again,
I will hold flowers
And angle in for a kiss.

“My heart is a machine now,” I’ll tell her.
I’ll brightly peel back
The soft, pale imperfect flesh and say,
“I’m stronger. Look, I’ve changed.
“Look at my heart. Look.
“See the steel here.
“Feel these steel angles, these veins are now only
“Piano-wire lattice work,
“Taut and tightly strung.
“Feel how the hardened symmetry
“Forms a perfect circuit.
“My heart is a bird-machine –
“It has Da Vinci’s wings.
“My heart is a latticed contraption.
“My heart for you is NUCLEAR.
“My heart is a prescient machine that sees our future.”
“My heart beats
“Its new and hardened life
“At angles.”
Her fingertips will be as soft
As flower petals.

I want a Revolution.
I want the world to change.
But if I meet my Love again
Will her eyes return to me?
Revolt?
Or turn away?

[Dedicated to Robert J. Nolan]

© Eric Robert Nolan 2013

Originally printed in Dead Snakes: http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2013/11/eric-robert-nolan-poem.html

 

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Throwback Thursday: “The Poseidon Adventure” (1972) and “The Towering Inferno” (1974)!

“The Poseidon Adventure” (1972) and “The Towering Inferno” (1974) were two seminal big-budget disaster action flicks produced by Irwin Allen.  They were both based on popular novels, they both had all-star ensemble casts, and they both found their way to network television fairly quickly.  They were both pretty decent flicks, too, I think … although I admittedly only saw them broadcast when I was very young.  (My best guess is that I caught them sometime around 1979 or 1980; I’d have been in the second or third grade.)

They both made a big impression on me.  Although “The Poseidon Adventure” is probably the better known of the two, it was “The Towering Inferno” that truly got under my skin.  It had its share of frightening sequences — at least by 1970’s standards.

The one I remember the most is one of its two famous “elevator scenes.”  After the plot-driving fire breaks out to create the titular burning high-rise, some panicking partygoers try to take an elevator directly to the street, past the burning floors — even after they’re warned not to try such an escape route.  The result (which you can see in the third video below) was pretty scary stuff, at least to a kid my age, just before 1980’s action films would thoroughly desensitize me to this sort of thing.  (It was not a decade known for nonviolent movies.)  The outcome of the scene sent a pretty big message to me about the importance of following the authorities’ instructions during a disaster.

Both “The Poseidon Adventure” and “The Towering Inferno” were also among the paperbacks that littered the backseat of my father’s car.  (Cars and closets and coffee tables in the house where I grew up were veritable small libraries; my father wasn’t reading Joyce or Dostoevsky, but lord knows that man read a lot.)  In the case of the latter film, “The Glass Inferno” was the name of the original book by Thomas N. Scortia and Frank M. Robinson.  Believe it or not, I can remember asking my Dad what the word “inferno” meant.  And I remember being fascinated, for some reason, by the idea that filmmakers could change the name of a story when adapting it.  (The people who made movies could do anything they wanted!)

They actually remade “The Poseidon Adventure” a few years back … I saw it, and I might have even reviewed it for this blog.  I can’t say that it was memorable, though.  Indeed, the only thing I can recall about it was the presence of the priceless Kurt Russell.

Or maybe it was terrific, and I just don’t remember that.  I am getting old — after all, I was a second grader in 1979.

 

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