Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

Uncategorized

A few quick words on “Black Mirror” Season 5 (2019)

1 Comment

I’m just piping in here to say that I still enjoy “Black Mirror” — even after Season 5 left a lot of fans nonplussed.  No, this tonally different, three-episode arc wasn’t the show’s best season, but it was still a decent watch.   I had some minor criticisms, but I’d rate it an 8 out of 10.

Perhaps predictably, my favorite of the three was “Smithereens.”  Not only did it most closely follow the tone and dialogue of past seasons, it boasted a fine lead performance by Andrew Scott, better known to many of us as Moriarty from Britain’s “Sherlock” (2010-2017).

For those of you who are wondering why the “season” was so short, I read today that “Bandersnatch” was supposed to be a part of it, and was produced at about the same time.  The showrunners then decided to make that episode a standalone feature, given its unique nature.

 

MV5BYTM3YWVhMDMtNjczMy00NGEyLWJhZDctYjNhMTRkNDE0ZTI1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTkxNjUyNQ@@._V1_

Uncategorized

What’s the most Gen-X thing you’ve ever done?

Leave a comment

There is a thread on Twitter asking people to comment, “What’s the most GenX thing you did?”  It’s a riot — check it out.

These are my responses:

  • I brought a typewriter to my freshman year at Mary Washington College.
  • I stood in line outside the registrar’s office to register for classes.  I once had to camp out there overnight so that I could be first in line, because there was only one spot left in a course I really needed.  My girlfriend brought me snacks.
  • I walked to air-conditioned “computer pods” in a designated academic building when a computer was required to properly format term papers.
  • I had a 5-disc CD player that could play songs at random, and I filled it with U2, Nirvana, Depeche Mode and Pearl Jam. I marveled at how cool this advanced technology made me.
  • I wore a jean jacket.
  • I wore fluorescent clothes and went to raves.
  • I’ve watched every Kevin Smith movie at least twice.

 

il_794xN.1824864793_i5s2

Uncategorized

Thanks a bunch, folks!

Leave a comment

Thanks to all the people who sent me the very kind (and occasionally quite funny) birthday wishes!!

You guys are a swell group and I luv ya!!!!

 

69208311_2649129388440239_2379618143493423104_n

Uncategorized

Throwback Thursday: “Gamera vs. Guiron” (1969)!

Leave a comment

I am still a little surprised at the harsher criticism I’m hearing of this year’s “Godzilla: King of the Monsters.”  (It was indeed brainless, as its detractors point out, but it was still fun enough for me to give it pretty forgiving review.)

Hey … if you think the new movie was goofy, you should see the Godzilla movies that I grew up with.  No, I wasn’t alive in 1969, but these movies ran periodically on television in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s.  I was utterly awed by them when I watched them with my older brother.

But they are cringeworthy to any sane adult.  Take a look at the trailer below (sorry I couldn’t find one in English), and the two clips that follow it.

Okay … this wasn’t technically a “Godzilla” movie because the radioactive (?) lizard is absent.  (It might have actually been set in a different fictional universe.)  This film’s putative good-guy is the eponymous “Gamera,” who is a giant, space-faring turtle with … rockets that can deploy from the rear of his shell … from the leg holes.  And he employs gymnastics to fight his enemies.  (See the second video below.)

There was one part of this movie that scared the heck out of me as a little kid.  You see the two little boys?  They’re abducted by some sexy lady aliens whose nefarious plan is to eat their brains, thus absorbing strategic knowledge of the Earth they wished to conquer.  Seriously, they give the kids drugged donuts and plan to open their skulls, and that scared the $^%# out of me.

Still think the new movie was a mess?

 

Uncategorized

A few quick words on “Pumpkinhead” (1988)

Leave a comment

Until last night, I’d never actually seen 1988’s “Pumpkinhead” — even though I occasionally joked online about its inspired, iconic titular monster.  I was predictably pleased by the movie’s creature effects, but even more disappointed than I thought I’d be by the film’s overall quality.  I’d rate the film a 7 out of 10, based on my own enjoyment of it — but I’m a horror fan who loves monsters and who’s typically forgiving of 80’s cheese.  If you haven’t seen “Pumpkinhead,” I suspect you’ll finds its flaws a little more egregious than I did.

The film’s strengths are its fantastic monster, designed by legendary visual effects master Stan Winston, and its interesting story concept.  It’s easy to see why the sneering, towering golem here inspired a cult fanbase — complete with sequels, videogames and comic books.  (Yes, horror movie pedants, I realize that Pumpkinhead is technically a demon-infused and magically mutilated corpse, and not a golem.  Whatever.)

This is Winston’s first turn as a director, too … and it seems to me that his genius apparently didn’t quite extend to this larger role.  “Pumpkinhead” feels cobbled together, even by 80’s-movie standards, with poor writing, acting and editing throughout.  The presence of Lance Henriksen improves matters somewhat, as does an adolescent Brian Bremer in the role of “Bunt.”.  (Bremer looks to be about 13 or 14 years old, but he easily outshines his adult co-stars.  His surprisingly relaxed performance might be the equal of Henriksen’s.  The latter is usually as good as we expect, but even he actually flubs a line here and there.  He’s a long way from his brilliant turn as the “Bishop” android in the classic “Aliens” two years prior.)

All things considered, I’m not sure I would actually recommend “Pumpkinhead.”

 

799ded9ef87c4f01c515d377eafb68c0

Uncategorized

I know it’s a weird story. IT’S TRUDEAU.

Leave a comment

Still no word back yet from Justin Trudeau about my letter last week suggesting that Canada purchase Greenland.  I thought that my proposal was a pretty good one, and I’m proceeding here with complete confidence that the deal will go through and that Trudeau will throw that Greenland beach party to troll Donald Trump.

I’m sure he’ll invite me, too.  That’s why I broke out my beach party Hawaiian shirt, which looks not at all incongruous on me in the picture below.

Hey, if the whole thing doesn’t work out, I can at least finally move forward with my long-planned “Magnum, P.I.” reenactment troupe.  (No, of course I am not sexy or cool enough to be Magnum; I hold no such illusions.  But I’d like to think I approach being a passable Rick.)

So we’ll only need a Thomas Magnum and a T.C. to step up.  (Sorry, Higgins hopefuls, but there is a certain friend of mine from college who was born for that role.)

 

20190822_135259B

Uncategorized

“Eric: Portrait of a Serial Spiller”

Leave a comment

Dammit.

If you look closely, you can see that I spilled both the coffee and the milk.

[Update: I just sat down and tried to eat cereal with a fork, and now I’m looking for someone to blame.]

 

20190824_182806

Uncategorized

(Whew.)

Leave a comment

Woke up with weird *&^%ing dreams.

Then I remembered I’m a weird *&^%ing guy and breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Anyway … Kit Harington might be the next Wolverine — that’s what people are saying.

You can tell I’m doing whatever I can to avoid the disconcerting national news headlines, can’t you?

 

12189900_1065179843501876_8509098864581414193_n

Uncategorized

A short review of “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” (2019)

Leave a comment

It’s true what they say about “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” (2019) — its script is almost completely brainless.  It’s got about as much depth as the old “G.I. Joe” cartoon (1983-1986) that played after school when we were kids.

But I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t enjoy this.  And I’m sure you know why — the big-budget, big-MONSTER special effects.  They were spectacular — and sometimes they approached being unexpectedly beautiful.  (It’s hard to explain here, but our eyes are treated to more than skyscraper-tall brawls between “titans.”  We get a light show too — thanks to some confusing, thinly scripted, but nonetheless dazzling energy-based monster powers.  It was really damned good.)

Add to this a generally excellent cast, and you might be able to forgive the screenplay for insulting your intelligence.  I know that most people would name Ken Watanabe as the actor who truly classes up the joint.  And there’s plenty of truth to that, but I myself would name Charles Dance as the movie’s biggest standout.  The man’s craft is goddam Shakespearean, and I think he’s equal of the likes of Patrick Stewart or Ian McKellen.  And I’d like to think that his throwaway line, “Long live the King,” was at least partly a fan-service reference to what I’m guessing is his best known role — Tywin Lannister on HBO’s “Game of Thrones” (2011-2019).

Based on my own enjoyment, I’d rate this movie an 8 out of 10 — with the caveat that I’m a kid at heart when it comes to giant monsters.  If you’re the same way, then “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” might just become a guilty pleasure that you return to more than once.

 

GodzillaKingOfTheMonstersPoster

Uncategorized

This is the e-mail I sent to Justin Trudeau about Trump’s failed bid to purchase Greenland.

Leave a comment

I’d like to think that I sent it … Justin time?

*****

Subject: Suggestion that Canada Purchase Greenland to “Troll” Donald Trump

Justin Trudeau
Liberal MP for Papineau (Québec)
1100 Crémazie East
(Main Office)
Suite 220
Montréal QC H2P 2X2
justin.trudeau@parl.gc.ca

Dear Prime Minister Trudeau:

While I could never truly hope for another country to prevail over my own in a diplomatic matter, may I at least point something out to you? If Canada successfully negotiated the purchase of Greenland from Denmark, it would be a sublime example of you “trolling” United States President Donald Trump. (As you are doubtless aware, Prime Minister, Denmark rejected Trump’s offer.)

It would be doubly impressive in terms of trolling the president if you celebrated the deal’s finalization by throwing a massive party on the southwest shore of Greenland — to ostentatiously celebrate Canada’s newest acquisition. I realize, Sir, that the climate there is a bit cold for swimming, but you could still dance on the beach with a group of bikini-clad young women in the same manner as the television program “MTV Beach House.” (I’ve been told here in the United States that many women are prone to fawning over you.)

It would be an even better example of “throwing shade” at President Trump if you made a short speech during this televised beach party, and demonstrated your fluency in a language other than English. Or maybe your … fluency in English. Or maybe a short speech that highlighted your scientific literacy. Or, perhaps, your general literacy. Or your adult-level intelligence. Or your coherence. Or even just your not-fucking-dangerous-insanity. Any remarks in which you surpassed the current American president’s own capabilities would suffice.

Please be sure to invite German Chancellor Angela Merkel. That would obliquely, yet quite assuredly, “dis” him.

I wouldn’t expect you to invite me. I have been reliably informed by my fellow Americans that I am not “cool,” by any conventional modern understanding of the word. I know I am not cool enough to party on a Greenland beach with Justin Trudeau and a group of bikini-clad women.

Yet I am so eager to see such a deal move forward that I am willing to partner with Canada to ensure the event’s success. I volunteer to financially support music for the event that I have described above. If a member of your office will contact me at the number below my signature line, I will cheerfully arrange to send you CD’s for the celebration. Just between us, Prime Minister, I am a bit of a dealmaker myself. I successfully negotiated a deal with a certain “BMG Music Club” several decades ago in which the company agreed to provide me with 12 CD’s for the price of one — and I cleverly multiplied the value of that deal by simply using multiple names in response to their proposed contract. I never fully capitalized on the company’s obligations to my various names, because I moved away from my college dormitory address in 1994. (I simply listed the location as “Justice League America Headquarters.”)

Please consider my suggestion. I wish you the best in your ongoing efforts to preserve the friendship between our two countries.

Kindest regards,

Eric Robert Nolan, United States
ericrnolan@gmail.com
XXX-XXX-XXXX