Friend, while watching the State of the Union Address: “Why does it look like [Trump] is standing in front of a CGI image of Ryan and Pence?”
Me: “It’s a glitch in the Hate-trix.”
Tag Archives: humor
Pay no attention to what you see below.
IT’S FAKE GNUS.
It’s a 2018 two-fer!
So this year Easter and April Fool’s Day fall on the same date.
Of course that means you should neglect to hide eggs, but tell all the kids to go look anyway.
Do you think you can scare me, January snowstorm?
Do you think you can prevent me from going outside, January snowstorm?
YOU KNOW NOTHING, JAN. SNOW.
If you’re cold, they’re cold. Bring them inside.
That’s some Thing you always need to remember on a cold night, right?
Anyway, this fan-made movie poster for John Carpenter’s “The Thing” (1982) is absolutely incredible. I am unaware of its creator, but it’s all over the Pinterest boards for similar fan-made posters.
#cakefail
A buddy of mine made the cake on the right for a Christmas party. (At left was his Pinterest inspiration; it was supposed to be a tie-dyed yule log cake.) He is actually a truly superb cook and baker, but here he finally created something that I can embarrass him with.
I opined that it looked like a rainbow submarine melted by nuclear radiation; others drew more … lewd comparisons. Today I think it most resembles John Carpenter’s “The Thing” after devouring and assimilating the Smurf Village. (And how’s that for a double 80’s reference?)
Look … I’m the first one to admit that I myself can’t find my way around a kitchen. Just now, as I am writing this, I almost put “Sweet Onion (Sea Salt Blend)” on my sausage and eggs, because at first I thought it was regular salt.
A beautiful woman tied me up this Christmas. (Pics.)
Isn’t this tie the greatest? She sure can pick ’em! I like to think of it as a bold, metallic blue.
Or maybe cerulean blue, like a gentle breeze. (Actually, it isn’t, but I can’t resist an obscure “The X-Files” reference.)
And it has the truly unpredictable effect of enhancing my impression of Robert De Niro in “The Untouchables!” (See the photos below; I am the one on the right.)
Oh, Roanoke. *loose/lose
Yes, I do realize that only an approval-seeking pedant will broadcast the fact that he found an error in a newspaper headline. At least I’ve got that self-awareness thing going for me. And I make plenty of my own mistakes right here on this blog. Somebody called me on the unforgivable *your/you’re confusion just last week.
Hey, I spent a couple of years on the other side of the desk where this kind of nitpicking is concerned. When I was a reporter, there were people who positively loved to call us when they spotted a mistake.
If you’re ever inclined to do that yourself, then please bear two things in mind:
- You are almost never the first one to alert the paper’s staff that an error has slipped past them. It’s usually spotted by someone either in the newsroom or in the advertising department, before anybody calls it in; and
- Mistakes in headlines are rarely made by the reporter who wrote the story. They can usually be attributed to someone at the editorial level, who prepared the layout. (The editors read the stories’ content, and then draft an appropriate headline according to the amount of space allowed by the layout.)
To those rebutting my “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” review:
(Specifically my complaint that the near-godlike “Force” powers employed are neither supported by the script nor precedented in the prior films.)
The Force is the Force, of course of of course,
And no one can limit the Force, of course,
Unless, of course, they use the Force
As a shameless deus ex machina!!!
[sung to the tune of “Mister Ed”]
Wacky Packages.
How’s this for “found art?”
I have friends who are incredibly sweet and generous, and yet who are also a little out there.
These adorned a Christmas package I received. What we’ve got here is apparently a hatchet-wielding owl in the first drawing. And he’s not an empty threat, either — note the owl skulls bottom left.
The second sketch depicts nothing less than a Christmas tree flasher. (Note the consternation of the other trees.)
Tradition, ladies and gentlemen.
Eric Robert Nolan, Author 