Tag Archives: Eric Robert Nolan

Yeesh. Lotta nightmares last night.

Rescue a helpless little girl lying unconscious in the street during the vampire apocalypse?  The tiny one with golden braids and porcelain skin?  There’s a reason you couldn’t feel her heartbeat.  Her skin is porcelain because she’s undead.  Have fun watching her rise, slowly and ceremoniously, in the makeshift fortress of your living room.  For added fun, the lock on your bedroom door won’t work!  Ha!  The moral of the story?  No good deed goes unpunished.

Thrilled to see your childhood dog again?  She’s NOT thrilled to see you. Because she’d been buried in “Pet Sematary” or something, and she’s biting your fingers because she remembers all those times you pulled her tail when you were three.  (Mom TOLD you to stop, but you couldn’t resist.)  The moral of the story?  [In best Fred Gwynne voice:] “Sometimes dead is better.” Also: be kind to animals!

That wicked cool GIGANTIC snake you keep snapping pictures of when it drinks from the backyard birdbath?  The one with a head the width of a shovel?  It’s actually NOT harmless merely because you cannot see any fangs.  It all fun and games until it wraps its coils around you, and you realize it’s a python.  For added fun, your Mom can’t hear you in the kitchen and cannot respond to your pleas for her to throw you a butcher knife, and then shut the open back door to protect herself.  For added confusion, your childhood home NEVER HAD A F***ING BIRDBATH.  (We WERE the 99 percent.)  The moral of the story?  [IN best MST3K voice:] “Watch out for snakes!”  Also: if clothes don’t make the man, then fangs don’t make the snake.

Christ!  What did I EAT last night?

 

WIN_20151028_17_06_27_Pro

“To keep them in control was not difficult.”

“So long as they (the Proles) continued to work and breed, their other activities were without importance. Left to themselves, like cattle turned loose upon the plains of Argentina, they had reverted to a style of life that appeared to be natural to them, a sort of ancestral pattern…Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbors, films, football, beer and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.”

—  from George Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty-Four”

 

Donald_Trump_Signs_The_Pledge_22

Photo credit:  By Michael Vadon (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons.

Donald Trump calls for a database and surveillance of all Muslims.

Americans, please consider voting for me.

The first priority of my administration will be establishing a database and surveillance of rich assholes.

Also?  A free copy of George Orwell’s “Nineteen Eighty-Four” to any American citizen who requests one.  A copy of the United States Constitution will be tucked inside.

10703864_10154609925315367_4370687824943614296_n

 

11988548_10152973419935388_5940499264547971225_n (1)

The Six-word Fantasy Story Challenge

Here’s what I came up with:

1)  “The kingdom is burning.  Hold me.”

2)  Frigid giants arise from enchanted ice.

3)  Within that crystal, endless worlds turned.

4)  Magic wrens rescued her from nightmare.

5)  Six elves, six dragons?  Good odds.

6)  The statutes were men, magically doomed.

7)  Prophecies foretold invasion.  But … by fairies?!

8)  My third wish?  Infinite wishes.  (Duh.)

9)  With this ring, I thee RULE.

 

12246630_993743100672419_5611372951380203130_n

Dali does Wolverine.

I found this on Facebook; it was just too good not to share.  That maple leaf representing Wolverine’s Canadian heritage is an especially nice touch.  I am unaware of the (actual) artist.

When I was 10 years old, I would argue at length with the kid next door about who would win in a fight — Wolverine or Silver Surfer.

Sigh … okay, I was actually 20 years old, and a college junior, and I was arguing in Mary Washington College’s New Hall with senior John Mathias.

“But he has the Power Cosmic!” John endlessly asserted about Silver Surfer.

If Wolverine’s adamantium claws could cut through anything, I astutely countered, “then they could cut through the Power Cosmic!”  Then I took another swig of my beer.

I had a well rounded education.

1609588_10203989471671528_6693912125223369441_n

Publication Notice: Dead Snakes features “Graceless Ravens Envy You”

I am honored yet again to see one of my poems published by Dead Snakes.  Thanks to Editor Stephen Jarrell Williams for allowing me to share “Graceless Ravens Envy You” at the link below:

http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2015/11/eric-robert-nolan-poem.html

And, by the way, my friend Tejal Jhaveri Moen has also published a new piece at Dead Snakes!  Click the link below to read “A Tearless Cry.”

http://deadsnakes.blogspot.com/2015/11/tejal-jhaveri-moen-poem_13.html

Anyway … in searching Wikimedia Commons for a public domain photo for this post, I learned that there is such a thing as a “Chihuahua Raven” (corvus cryptoleucus). That’s just wrong on several levels.  I suggest that we hunt it to extinction.

800px-Birds_Bangladesh_2_(2)

Photo credit: by Shahnoor Habib Munmun (Own work) [CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons.

The six-word sci-fi story challenge.

Okay, mine kinda sucks:

“Parallel universe,” explained the other me.

How about this one?

“Warning: Rabies Virus Airborne.  Flee Infected.”

Let me try again:

“Remember when cats were OUR pets?”

My obligatory wolf entry:

“GenetiClaw Inc.: Now, werewolves CAN exist.””

One more:

“Trump is a poorly programmed robot!”

 

[UPDATE: Pete Harrison just came up with one!]

“Nolan and Woods: the perfect clones.”

And another!

“NO MORE GAMES!!!” cried the android.

 

12226958_184117151927708_8118659676166773537_n

A very quick review of “Circle” (2015)

“Circle” (2015) is a particularly dark sci-fi thriller that manages to be pretty good despite its obviously low budget.  I’d give it a 7 out of 10.

Fifty strangers awaken in mysterious high-tech room in which they’re forced to vote on who among them will next die, until only one survivor remains.  (It’s a setup reminiscent of the “Survivor” reality tv series.  Good Lord, has that show really been on for 15 years?!)  Other amatuer reviewers have called this a “study in human nature;” I think maybe that’s a bit generous.  We see a few obvious stereotypes and some pretty thin characters (even if a couple of unexpected flourishes were very well played).  I also think that the vast majority of people who would find themselves in this story’s setting would lack the composure we see from virtually every character on screen.

Still, this movie was different and creative.  It kept me in suspense at times, and held my attention.  And early on, the talk about awakening “in a red room” appears to be a pretty cool nod to what seems like this movie’s direct inspiration — 1997’s classic “Cube.”

I really disliked the ending, but an explanation about why would be a tremendous spoiler.

 

MV5BMjQwNjM3NTM4N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDU4NDE3NDE@._V1_SX214_AL_

“Bone Tomahawk” (2015) was superb. “Wyatt Earp” meets “Cannibal “Holocaust!”

Let’s get something out of the way first — “Bone Tomahawk” (2015) isn’t only a western.  It’s a genre-busting … “horror-western,” as other review sites have called it.  It pits four protagonists against a tribe of monstrous “cave dwellers” who have kidnapped two people from their tiny frontier town of “Bright Hope.”  And the results at the movie’s end are pretty damned horrifying.

This was superb — I’d give it a 9 out of 10.  “Bone Tomahawk” succeeds in being scary and enjoyable simply because it’s a quality film.  The script is outstanding, with nuanced, occasionally funny, and ultimately quite likable characters.  The four leads — Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox and Richard Jenkins — play the diverse quartet perfectly.  I could honestly watch another one or two movies about these guys, even without the horror-movie plot device that this flick employs — and that is coming from a guy that doesn’t like westerns.

The directing and cinematography are perfect.  And the end of the movie is nerve-shattering, smartly written and satisfying.  (Although there is one violent sequence that might make your heart stop.  Good lord.)

My only criticisms are very subjective.  For one, this movie sometimes felt slow.  The exciting horror-movie element that drives the plot is introduced early, but briefly.  It is then more than an hour before we arrive at it again, as we follow the four protagonists traveling to an uncharted valley just to reach the bad guys’ lair.

For another … this movie got just a little too dour during its lengthy second act (the trek to the valley where the climax takes place).  We see a few sad things, including the fates of innocent people and animals.  These punctuate what is literally a painful journey for one of our heroes waging a doomed battle against a horribly wounded leg.  Throughout its middle,  “Bone Tomahawk” isn’t so much of a “scary movie” as it is a slightly depressing movie.

Still, this was fantastic.  And if you see it and you really like it, as I did, then spread the word.  This flick hasn’t gotten the press it deserves.

Quick postscript: watch for David Arquette and none other than Sid Haig in surprise supporting roles!  And … supposedly Sean Young was in this movie, but I’ll be damned if I could spot her.

bone_tomahawk_poster

Check out “Photos by JD,” featuring the work of Longwood High School Alumnus James Dentel!

If you’re looking for an outstanding fashion, glamour or events photographer in the New York area, then peruse the work of my Longwood High School Alumnus, James Dentel.  James has a terrific eye, and his work is absolutely beautiful.

You can see from that from the shots below.  They were taken at the recent “Three Nights of Horror” Halloween weekend event at the Lava Nightclub and Exit 33 in Verona, NY.

You can find more samples of James’ work at the “Photos by JD” Facebook page, and at his website:

https://www.facebook.com/PhotosByJamesD/info/

http://www.photosbyjd.net/

Nice work, James.

12065930_1012600892123475_5821534622915535748_n

12187760_1012600875456810_6765586928733596889_n

12065962_1012601032123461_3705278538242420411_n     12193745_1012600455456852_4107779440711871267_n

12189547_1012600985456799_6420951467269374041_n     12189988_1012600605456837_9076918004845342398_n

12079553_1012600532123511_254058629675008874_n

12193562_1012600652123499_2459828634428084451_n

12195814_1012600548790176_3875286739625764478_n